Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

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A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

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Halloween Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Pirate Jokes

A Psychic buying clothes..
Employee: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small.
Employee: You didn’t even try it on.
Psychic: I’m a medium.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.

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Christmas Jokes Religion jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?
A: Sorry, I'm a little horse.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

РМS jokes aren't funny, period.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Sexist Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shiт in days.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes

Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the вrеаsтs of a eighteen year old."
"Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old аss?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

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Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Relationship Jokes

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

One woman I was dating called and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Jokes about Women Insult Jokes

Q: What do you do with a sick boat?
A: Take it to the doc.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist?
A: Because you will get Jurasskicked.

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Science jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Воовs!"

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Men jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Police Officer Jokes Sexist Jokes Boob Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear !

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

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Nationality Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Political Jokes

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes