Political Jokes

Most popular in this category

Obama said,
"Yes we can." Chuck Norris says,
"I already did.".

18 0

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".

19 0

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
We don't know. They're still arguing about it.

0 0

We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.

21 0

No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...

21 0

The economy is terrible. At the beginning of the year, the politicians promised things would improve by the last quarter...
Well, I'm down to my last quarter and they haven't improved!

24 0

One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall.
All of a sudden a nакеd lone figure was seen веnт over on the side of the road.
Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop.
He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi.
She was nакеd with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles.
The president said,
"ОМG Nancy what happened?"
She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die!
The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper.
He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"

24 0

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20 story building.
During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, “Ivan, jump down.”
Ivan replied in tears, “Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son.”
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, “Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!”
Struggling, Lee replied, “Let me go! I have a wife and a son!”

0 0

Why do they say elephants never forget?
They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

15 0

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

34 0

How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
At least two!

38 0

You all know why the government got rid of the mafia?
They don't like completion.

44 0

A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS:
Dangerous
Excessive
Member
Of
Crazy
Rats

46 0

The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking!
There is a very pretty, hot and sеxy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fат old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! "
The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before.
This is Air Force One..."

64 1

How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggеrs?
He promised to create jobs for them if elected.

21 0

When booking holidays online this summer remember that when it comes to hotels star ratings mean nothing. I went to this terrible hotel last year that apparently had the biggest collection of stars in the world, it was called Auschwitz.

0 0

What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."

6 0

Well goodnight everyone.
I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!

10 0

If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.

11 0

Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.

15 0