Redneck jokes - Page 4

You might be a redneck if, Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

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You just might be a redneck if nothing under your Christmas tree is paid for.

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Christmas Jokes Redneck jokes

Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family?
A: The Sole inвrеd.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Redneck jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

You know you are a Redneck if you use all red lights at Christmas so you can leave them up until Valentines day

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Christmas Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes Redneck jokes

You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up nакеd.

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Redneck jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Stupid Jokes

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Car and driving jokes Redneck jokes Police Officer Jokes Beer Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M.
It was his Ku Klux Кlаn buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery.
"What's the matter?" asked Moody.
"Are you in trouble?"
"No!" said Crumm.
"What do you want, then?"
"Nothing!"
"Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody.
"Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"

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Redneck jokes Money jokes Phone jokes

You might be a redneck if your mother carries a lug nut wrench for a toothpick.

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Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes

So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, "Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?"
The guy says, "Buddy, I'm six feet, 210 pounds, an' ma name's Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there's Bubba. He's 225 pounds of solid muscle and he's a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike's a trucker who weighs 295 and he's a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?"
The fella says, "Naw, you're right... I'd hate to have to explain it three times!"

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Redneck jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

You might be a redneck if a police officer pulls you over to ask for your driver's license and your address is the county jail.

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Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes Redneck jokes Prison Jokes

Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy?
Deer ваlls, they're under a buck.

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Redneck jokes Food Jokes

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sеx with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Redneck jokes Sex Jokes Stupid Jokes

For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars.
Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?"
"Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy.
"Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father.
"Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!"
"A rifle? What fer?"
"Suppos'n one day yew сuм home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck.
"W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"

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Money jokes Redneck jokes Wedding jokes

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"

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Redneck jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes Hairdresser Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps?
A: He blew a hole in the toilet.

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Redneck jokes Gross Jokes

Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman.
The man says "Lookit them hомо-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution.
"We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. "
"Right, Darlin."
The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."

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Redneck jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Couple jokes

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.

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Dentist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes

A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.

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Redhead Jokes Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes

There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sеx with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sеx. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sеx. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sеx this time but maybe next time". Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sеx. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sеx this time". As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sеx". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged - my wife won twice last week."

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Redneck jokes

You might be a reneck if...
Your most productive fishing lure is a Dupont drifter and a dip net.
City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits.
You think Tang is in the fruit group.
You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have trouble with your ABC's.
You've ever wrestled your mama for the last can of вееr.
You surf the net primarily for tater gun building instructions.
Your car is the only one in a parking lot and you can't find it.
You think your IQ is the number of сооns you shot out of season.
You ever wonder what happened to that nice John F. Kennedy boy.
The fuel for your main mode of transportation is oats.

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Redneck jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes