Sarcasm Jokes - Page 3

This kid about ten tears old was being a right little сunт with his mum and dad in the supermarket,
“Are you by any chance an only child? ” I asked him,
“Yeah, why? What;s it got to do with you? ” He replied.
“Nothing, ” I said, “but I can see why they stopped. “

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A young high school girl is walking past a construction site when one of the builders yells out, “Hey gorgeous! Why don’t you come over here and sit on my face?
Without even blinking an eye,she yells back,”Why,sweetheart,is your nose вiggеr than your соск!!!”

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School Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
“Mom,” said the little boy, “what are all those women doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They ‘re hookers, boy! They have sеx with men for money.”
The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true, Mom?”
His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, “Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?”
“Most of them become cab drivers,” she said.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Last year, I went to America on a mountain climbing holiday. I had an accident, and fell 30ft.
I broke both my legs and was bleeding heavily.
I managed to make it to a road, where I flagged down a car which drove me to the hospital.
I crawled into the waiting room, and two nurses ran over to me.
“Oh my God, are you alright?” one of them shouted.
I said, “I’m absolutely fine, why do you ask?” before passing out.
After waking up in the same spot 6 hours later, I realised there’s a time and a place for sarcasm.

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God Jokes USA Jokes Sarcasm Jokes Nurse jokes

To help fatties, supermarkets should help promote healthy living by putting all cakes, ice creams, pies etc. in aisles that are too narrow for the fат fcukers to fit through.

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Fat Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

My wife woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and said
“Oh god, you can tell I went to bed with wet hair, look at it, it’s massive!”
“Did you go to bed with a wet аrsе too?” I said……

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God Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Good women are found in every corner of the earth. Unfortunately earth is round.

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

I asked the wife can I take a picture of your тiтs so I can always see how big they are.
The cheeky соw replied,…… only if I take a pic of your реnis so I can get it enlarged.

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Sarcasm Jokes Boob Jokes

they say you are what you eat,i am some cunt

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Sarcasm Jokes Dirty jokes

I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.

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Sarcasm Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Like most people, I like to do something a little different at the weekend.
On Saturdays I become Jewish, because that’s their day of rest.
On Sundays I become Christian, because that’s their day of rest.
Then for the remainder of the week, I go back to being a Scouser.

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Christian Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Lady: Do you smoke?
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: $10.00
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn’t smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where’s your fсuкing Ferrari then?

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Sarcasm Jokes Money jokes Men jokes

One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirтy, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her and put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. She had no name so we named her Pussycat.
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband, [the complainer] said, “OK, but don’t forget to wash her, she stinks.”
My husband and my vet don’t like each other. He calls my husband El-cheap-O. My husband calls him El-Take-0. They love to hate each other.
Next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, which was located next door to the vet. The doctor’s office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.
A side door opened and in leaned the vet; he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband, “Your wife’s рussy(cat) is finally clean and shaved. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she’s pregnant. God knows who the father is!”
And he closed the door.

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Sarcasm Jokes Office and Work Jokes God Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Whats the Difference between Red & Green ?
Fuck all apparently if you’re a cyclist.

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What's The Difference Jokes Sarcasm Jokes Cyclist Humor

My ex-wife just texted me, “Guess what, I now know what a real diск is like.”
I replied, “Yeah, I’ve seen you with him.”

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Sarcasm Jokes

Scientists revealed the formula for the perfect cup of tea today.
Maybe cancer patients could have one while they wait for a cure.

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Sarcasm Jokes

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys laughing at me.
I’ll have the last laugh though. By the end of the day I will repay them with skid marks all over their grapes and strawberries.

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Sarcasm Jokes

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with
her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through
the entrance. She’s dressed in dirтy jeans, a greasy t-shirt with holes
in it and wearing flip-flops exposing her cracked and filthy toenails.
When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with
more than a few missing. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, “Good morning and
welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you’ve got there. Are they twins?”

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

What’s the smallest part in a BMW?
The driver’s diск.

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Sarcasm Jokes BMW jokes

When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight,…
to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.

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Kids Jokes Sarcasm Jokes