Sex Jokes - Page 59

You can philosophize, talk, and argue all you want about same-sеx marriage, but heterosexual people who have been married (say) “It’s the same sеx all the time.”

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Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along.
‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says.
‘What time did you pull out this morning?’
‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy.
‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’

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Sex Jokes Boss Jokes

A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar.
He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon.
The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation.
Lalu said,
"Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know."
They went.
Had lots of fun and came back.
Wife back at home asked,
"I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for."
The Husband said,
"Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sеx, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon."
The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes

I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sеx before marriage.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Attitude Jokes

A drunк asked a barman, “Who did you vote for in the last election?”
“None of your business,” the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk politics in a pub.”
“Okay,” said the drunк. “What church do you go to?”
“None of your business,” the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk religion in a pub.”
“Okay,” said the drunк. “Can I talk about sеx?”
“Sure! Sеx is great pub talk!”
“Okay,” said the drunк, “Fсuк you.”

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Religion jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes Political Jokes

A young couple get between the sheets for the first time.
In a flash it’s over.
The boy says, ‘If I’d known you were a virgin I’d have taken more time.’
His girlfriend replies, ‘If I’d known you were going to take more time I’d have taken off my tights.’

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Sex Jokes

Chuck Norris always has SЕX on the bottom.
Because he never fuскs up.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sex Jokes

There was a disturbing story on the 11 PM news tonight about Cadmus, a 14-year-old Greek boy, who has run away from home.
Cadmus’ school friends said that he doesn’t like the way his father is rearing him.

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School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A рrоsтiтuте with a single room decided she would get a partition installed so she could entertain 2 clients at once. A builder knocked up the partition in no time, and after he’d finished, he asked for his money. The girl explained that she didn’t have it, but that she could pay for the job with sеx. The builder complained and complained, then finally agreed, saying sеx was better than nothing.
“I like it doggy style”, he said.
She positioned herself accordingly. He slobbered on his thumb and forefinger before inserting them in her rear orifices. She squealed in surprise.
In a deep and completely dominating voice he said.”Now give me my fсuкing money, or I’ll rip out your partition”.

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Money jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

I tried gаy phone sеx last night, but I’m not sure I’m doing it right.
I was the giver and it was the receiver.

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Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

My fuскing nosy neighbour popped his head over the fence and said, “How did your trip to Amsterdam go?”
I said, “It was ok. I smoked loads of wееd. Met a beautiful woman. Fantastic figure, intelligent, and a great personality. In fact she reminded me of your wife a bit.”
He laughed and said, “Which bit?” I said, “The bit where she charges for sеx.

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

I recently bought a surround-sound system for my TV - it is so crisp, clear and lifelike.
My neighbours now think I have the most incredible sеx life and can speak eight different languages…

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Sex Jokes Internet Jokes

A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says “Yes, but before we do, there`s something you must know. I have never had the sеx, but I`ve read about it.” He says that it`s not a problem, and they are married. On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she`s a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says “Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sеx, but I`ve read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69. The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says “You want.. the beef and broccoli?”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A guy with a gun enters in a bar.
- Who had sеx with my wife?
A voice was heard in the background:
- You don`t have enough bullets mate!

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Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sеx, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sеx outback of the church.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Relationship Jokes

People who create multiple Facebook accounts so they can like their own status are probably the same people who spice up their sеx life by маsтurватing with a different hand sometimes so they feel like it’s a strangers hand.

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Sex Jokes Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes Masturbation jokes

Why is sеx like a game of bridge?
You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.

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Sex Jokes

I walked in from work today and my wife was sitting on the sofa with my girlfriend.
I said, “What’s going on?”
“You tell me?” replied my wife.
I said, “I don’t know, you’re sitting on the sofa with a stranger.”
“A stranger, hey?” shouted my girlfriend, “I’m no stranger, we’ve been having sеx for six months!”
I looked at my wife and said, “Is this true?”

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

This woman came into my shop earlier on the phone, whispering about the amazing sеx she had last night.
She picked up a magazine and started flicking through it.
I shouted over, “Hey, this isn’t a library!”
“I’m going to buy it,” she replied.
I said, “That’s fine, I just mean you don’t have to talk so quietly.”

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sеxy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sеx appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens Intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the Trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They Are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to Marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her You were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

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