Car and driving jokes

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Στο νεκροταφείο. A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one A mother and son were walking through a cemetery En el cementerio se lee: "Aquí yace un abogado Matka i syn idą cmentarną aleją i mijają nagrobek z napisem: "Tu leży dobry prawnik i człowiek honoru". Chłopiec przeczytał napis
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Ποιός οδηγεί; Ποιός είναι ο οδηγός; Сириец - Негр и мексиканец едут в машине. Hay un gitano y un moro en un coche: A Mexican Ein Türke Een neger en een turk zitten samen in de auto wie rijd er met de auto? -De flikken Народная Американская загадка-анекдот. - Если в машине едут негр и мексиканец 2 turken zitten in de auto A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop! En araber og en neger køre i en bilen. Hvem kører? – En betjent. En Tyrker To innvandrere sitter i en bil. Hvem kjører? - Politimannen som sitter foran.. Hvis to perkere og en neger sidder i en bil. Hvem kører så? – En hvid politimand. - Egy ukrán
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A man goes to a party and has too much to drink.
His friends plead with him to let them take him home.
He says no -- he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area.
The police tell the drunк party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.
When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door.
They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes.
They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.
The police have his driver's license.
They ask to see his car and she asks why.
They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver.
The truck driver motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face.
"Oh you think that's funny?
Watch this!"
He gets a baseball bat out of His truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad.
He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres.
Now she’s laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it.
He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is almost falling over.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."
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