Communication Jokes

The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

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[first day as a pilot]
Control tower: What are your coordinates?
Me: I'm by a cloud that looks like a lion.
Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba

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Aviation Jokes Office and Work Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Pilot Jokes

Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Communication Jokes

A guy and a girl are roommates in college.
The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fuскs him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and:
Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..."
Her: "Really?!"
Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?"
Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore."
Him: "Great! So he's available?"

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes College jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes

One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening.
Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening.
The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10"
He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly.
He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?"
Again he left quickly and returned to the convent.
Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?"
She replied "$10.00 same as in town."

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Religion jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Priest Jokes Communication Jokes Priest Jokes

My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
You.

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Knock-knock jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

[first day as a pilot]
Control tower: What's your location?
Me: I'm in the cockpit.
Control tower: I mean where is the airplane?
Me: Mainly behind me.

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Aviation Jokes Office and Work Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Pilot Jokes

Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door.
I have a confession to make.
I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, probably more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know.
The temptation was just too much.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me.
It won't happen again.
Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
Regards, Alan.
THE ACTIONS
Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor head.
He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.
He took out his phone where he saw he has a subsequent message from his neighbor:
THE SECOND MESSAGE
Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the typo on my last text.
I expect you figured it out anyway, that you noticed that darned Autocorrect changed 'Wi-Fi' To 'Wife'.
Technology hey?
Regards, Alan.

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Technology Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

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Wine jokes Food Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Funny Riddles Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Communication Jokes

One day the teacher was asking the class about there weekends.
She asked sue, "how was your weekend?"
"Good."
Then little Johnny waved his hand "me, me, me."
Finally giving in said, "what did you do this weekend?"
"I rode in my wagon pulled by my dog and hit a steep hill. The wagon started going faster than the dog and the handle went up his аss."
"Rестuм is the word you're looking for," she says.
"Rестuм," said Johnny, "da man near killed him."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Animal Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes Dog jokes

Drunк guy gets pulled over.
Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him.
The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence."
So the drunк man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"

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Police Officer Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama's so poor, I saw her walking down the street with only one shoe on. I said, ''Hey, Mrs Jones, you've lost a shoe,'' and she said ''No, it's alright, I found one''.

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Yo Momma Jokes Money jokes Communication Jokes

Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks.

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Yo Momma Jokes Insult Jokes Communication Jokes Ugly Jokes

A Horse Walks Into a Bar...
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Animal Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes

Why do they call camels 'ships of the desert'?
Because they are full of Arab sемеn.

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News and Politics Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Communication Jokes Dinosaur jokes

Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: Wanna know the biggest lie my dad ever told me?
A: I'll be back.

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Dad Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A: Virgin Mobile

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Communication Jokes Religion jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Virgin Jokes