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Computer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
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Шетаат двајца програмери по улица и сретнуваат згодна девојка: Првиот. - Види какви `proprieties` имаа оваа девојка. Вториот. - Џабе ти е, она е само `read only`. Doi programatori intr-un bar: - Vezi tipa aceia? Vezi ce "properties" are? - Da. Am "testat-o" aseara... Sunt read-only Eina du kompiuteristai ir kalbasi apie priekyje einančią merginą. Vienas sako: - Pažiūrėk, kokios pas ją „properties“. O kitas: - Kas iš to, vis tiek ji „read only“. Kalbasi du programuotoji kavinėje: - O properties pas ją aukščiausio lygio! - Gaila, kad viskas read only! Vakar pats tikrinau! Idu dva kompjuteraša ulicom i kaže jedan: - "Gle onu ribu! Kakve ima properties!" - "Ma jebesh to, ona ti je read-only!"
Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t.
And there will be a special name for them - secretaries.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
What do computers eat when they get hungry?
"Сhiрs."
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Which way did the programmer go?
He went data way!
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
The car salesman can probably drive!
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Computer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.
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Animal Jokes Computer Jokes
How many programmers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
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Колку програмисти са нужни да заменът една крушка? Microsoft y la bombilla Wie viele Software-Fachleute braucht man, um eine Glühbirne einzuschrauben. Antwort: Keine! Das ist ein Hardwareproblem! Combien de programmeurs sont nécessaires pour changer une ampoule électrique brûlée ? Aucun, ils ne touchent pas à ça, c'est un problème hardware ! Προγραμματιστές Quanti p
Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Police Officer Jokes Light bulb jokes Black People Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
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Office and Work Jokes News and Politics Jokes God Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes American Presidents Humor
An internet maniac boy asks his father:
Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
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Computer Jokes Dad Jokes Internet Jokes
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
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Jokes about Women Computer Jokes Geek jokes Beauty Jokes
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
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Office and Work Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes Police Officer Jokes
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie:
"Uh, let me see that map again."
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Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans. Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World. The... Clinton finds a bottle, opens it and a genie pops out and grants him one wish. Clinton wishes for peace in the Middle East. The genie says there are some things even a genie can't do and tells Clinton to make another wish. Clinton says he wishes that... Una mujer está caminando en la playa y de pronto se encuentra una vieja lámpara. La recoge, la frota y ¡Paff! aparece un genio. La asombrada mujer le pregunta si le puede dar los clásicos tres... Un árabe caminaba por el desierto, cuando encontró una lámpara. Al abrirla ? sorpresa!, Apareció un genio: - Hola! Soy un genio de un solo deseo, a tus ordenes. - Entonces, quiero la paz en Oriente... Un árabe consigue una lámpara, la frota, el genio sale y le dice: - Solo te puedo conceder un deseo. El árabe le muestra un mapa y le pide paz para el Medio Oriente. El genio le dice que eso es... Era un musulmán que consiguió una lámpara mágica, de la que salió un genio al frotar y le concedió únicamente 1 deseo. - Quiero paz en Oriente Medio -Eso no es posible, tras 7000 años de guerras... Une femme se promène sur une plage et bute sur une vieille lampe. Elle se penche pour la prendre, la frotte et paf, un génie apparaît. La femme, étonnée, lui demande alors si elle pourra faire les... A Genie Can Almost Do Anything Il Presidente del Consiglio camminando lungo la spiaggia inciampa sulla lampada e fa uscire un Genio. Questi gli dice che per ricompensa è disposto ad esaudire un suo desiderio. Il Presidente senza esitare dice: "Voglio la pace nel Medio Oriente. Vedi questa mappa? Voglio che questi paesi... Un uomo sta passeggiando in un bosco alla ricerca di funghi, quando si imbatte nella più perfetta e antica lampada ad olio; inizia subito astrofinarla e appare il Genio: - Posso avere i miei tre... Kadının biri Maldivlerde bir kumsalda yürürken ayağı eski bir lambaya takılmış, kadın lambayı kumların içinden çıkarmış ve lambayı ovalamış.  Lambadan cin çıkmış. Kadın hemen: - "Üç hakkım var...
Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
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