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Computer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Boss Jokes
James Bond got this email from a friend:
CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Friendship Jokes Computer Jokes
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
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Business jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Computer Jokes Management Jokes
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Geek jokes New year jokes Internet Jokes
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Internet Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Internet Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire.
The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said:
"Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."
The computer programmer said:
"We have here the driver's guide.
I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."
The computer operator said:
"First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again.
Maybe it will fix the problem."
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said:
"Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
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Programmer Jokes Men jokes Computer Jokes Boss Jokes
Q: How do you know when a blonde's been sending email?
A: There are envelopes in the disk drive.
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Men vs Women Jokes Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Stupid Jokes
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer:
"I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support:
"Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer:
"As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support:
"Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down.
'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support:
"Er, what happened next?"
Customer:
"After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank.
And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them.
And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office.
Did I do something wrong?"
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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access.
It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except роrn sites.
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Internet Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
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Facebook Jokes Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone.
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes
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