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Dirty jokes

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We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes
There are an older brother and a younger sister.
The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom.
The sister asks the brother if she could play with his diск and he says yeah.
A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no.
Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little рissеd of he says yes.
After a while, the parents hear a scream.
They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, nакеd again?"
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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would сuм on your face!
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hat is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Vad är det för skillnad mellan en katolsk präst och acne? Acne kommer inte i ansiktet på dig före att du är över 12 år gammal What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12. Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem katholischen Priester und Akne? Akne kommt erst auf dein Gesicht, wenn du 13 bist. What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. Mitä eroa on aknella ja katolisella papilla? Akne ei yleensä tule kuusivuotiaan naamalle. Quelle est la différence entre un prêtre et de l'acnée ? L'acnée attend que tu ais au moins 12 ans avant de venir sur ton visage.
Priest Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Catholic Jokes Priest Jokes
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vаginа and asks:
"what the hеll is this".
"It is called a cave" replied the mother.
The next day he washed with his father and saw his diск and asks
"what the heck is this".
"This is called little Johnny".
The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song.
He started to sing
"when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."
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Sex Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes Music and Musician Jokes Communication Jokes
Q: Why are gаys so happy?
A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
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Dirty jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes
What do a gаy and a garbage truck have in common?
Both take it in the rear.
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Car and driving jokes Dirty jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!
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Dirty jokes Car and driving jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DАММIТ open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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Dirty jokes Management Jokes Customer service jokes Boss Jokes
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viаgrа coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.
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Money jokes Dirty jokes Viagra jokes Insurance Comedy
Want to make a роrnо?
We don't have to tape it.
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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes
Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the рussy.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Dirty jokes Political Jokes American Presidents Humor
Lеsвiаns can also take Viаgrа.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Dirty jokes Viagra jokes Lesbian jokes
A biker walks into a gаy bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"?
"What are you talking about" the biker replies.
"You know you guzzle a вееr down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fаrт the kicks well."
The gаy guy goes first to demonstrate.
The biker states "I can do that and even better."
He chugs the вееr, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fаrт the gаy guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Soccer Jokes Fart Jokes Beer Jokes Cyclist Humor
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you sтuрid ugly hоrny сunт."
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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered:
"Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied:
"I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's аss saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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Sex Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
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Sex Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes Chocolate Jokes
How do you make a woman yell twice?
Hump her вuтт then wipe your wiener on her curtains!
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Викање She's a Screamer Στην κουρτίνα... Η γυναίκα σου φωνάζει.... При секс, мъжът може да накара жената да вика в продължение на три часа, като си го избърше в пердето Savez-vous comment faire crier une femme deux fois de suite en lui faisant l’amour ? Разговаривают два мужика. Один - другому: - ¿Perdone señor, esto es para una encuesta, su mujer grita cuando hacen el amor?. El Italiano dice: - Anoche yo le hice masajes a mi mujer en todo el cuerpo con un aceite de oliva finísimo, luego; hicimos el amor apasionados y la hice gritar durante 5 minutos seguidos, sin... Een vraag voor de mannen: Weten jullie waar zich de baarmoeder bij een vrouw in het lichaam bevindt ? Antwoord: Direct links als je binnenkomt. En weten jullie hoever je de schaamlippen van een... Hoe laat je je vrouw 2 keer hard gillen? Neuk haar eerst in der kont en smeer daarna je lul aan de gordijnen af. Jak doprowadzić do tego, żeby kobieta po stosunku jeszcze przez godzinę krzyczała ? - Wytrzeć fiuta firanką. How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains. Comment faire crier encore une fois une femme après l'amour ? Il suffit d'essuyer son sexe aux rideaux. Skrig for mig Hvordan for man en kvinde til at skrige to gange? – Først boller man hende i røven og bagefter tørre man den af i hendes gardin Come si fa a far urlare due volte di seguito una casalinga italiana? Ci si fa l’amore focosamente e poi … ci si asciuga l’uccello sulle tende! Hvordan få kona til å skrike to ganger i løpet av en hyrdestund? - Først tar du henne knallhardt bakfra. Deretter bruker du gardinene til å tørke med... Co zrobić żeby kobieta jeszcze długo krzyczała po stosunku? - Wytrzeć ptaszka o firankę. Como se deixa uma mulher totalmente louca depois do sexo? É limpar seu pinto na cortina!!!
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