Gross Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whоrеhоusе with 5$. He buys a the cheapest рrоsтiтuте named Sandpaper Sally.
As they start to have sеx, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!"
Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sеx once again.
"What the hеll happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sеx I''ve ever had!"
Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."

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Рrоsтiтuте 1: Tonight's my night - I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.

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How can you tell if you have an underbite?
You're eating p***y and it tastes like s**t!

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"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."

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What's That, Тамроn?
What did the тамроn say to the other тамроn in school?
I'll see you next period.

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What do you call a blonde with a dollar ...
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

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What's grosser than gross?
Ten babies in one mail box.
What's grosser than that?
One baby in ten mailboxes.
What's grosser than that?
Biting into a pickle and finding a vein.
What's grosser than that?
A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor.
What's grosser than that?
A girl thinking she has сrавs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.

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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.

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What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.

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A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a маxi pad.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?
One wears a tie.

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Q: How can you tell if a роrnо was made in the 70s?
A: Even the guys' penises have sideburns.

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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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Two hunters were stalking through the forest when one said to the other that he has to take a dump. His friend replies, "Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my аss?" he asks.
"Use a dollar bill," his friend says.
A few minutes later, the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asked his friend.
He replied, "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."

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"How are your hemorrhoids?"
"Swell."

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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!

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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a тамроn hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"

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3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in and asked for a fork.The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the вuм said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."

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At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs.
He replied, "Depends."

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"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

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