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Gross Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Q: What's the difference between an epileptic farmer and a рrоsтiтuте with diarrhea?
A: The farmer shucks between fits.
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Gross Jokes Blue Collar Jokes
A роllоск walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms.
We have some for 75 cents a peace.
The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir."
The роllоск says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."
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Gross Jokes Men jokes
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
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Gross Jokes
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run 'round and 'round till you're all pooped out!
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes
The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
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Gross Jokes Money jokes
Трима вампири сядат в кафене. Βρυκόλακες Το τσάι Trois vampires se retrouvent à un bar. Le premier commande un verre de sang chaud. Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude. Les deux autres le regardent tout étonnés. Dracula entre dans un bar de vampires et demande au serveur : C'est trois vampires qui sont dans un bar. Le premier vampire commande un verre de sang chaud.Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude! Les deux autres le regardent et lui pose la question : - Pourquoi un verre d'eau chaude ? Le troisième répond -... Един ден двама вампири влезли в бар. Първият казал: - Чаша топла кръв, ако обичате. - Веднага - отвърнал барманът. - А вие? - Чаша гореща вода - обадил се вторият вампир. След няколко минути барманът се върнал с чаша топла кръв и гореща вода и казал: - Вие сте вампири, нали? Щом пиете кръв...... Een Nederlandse, een Belgische en een Duitse vampier zitten in een vampierenbar. "Ober!" roept de Nederlandse vampier, "één glas vers bloed alstublieft." En hij krijgt het. "Ober!" roept de... Eine Vampirdame setzt sich an eine Bar und sagt zu dem Barkeeper: "Ich hätte gerne eine Tasse mit heißem Wasser." Der Barkeeper fragt erstaunt: "Wieso wollen sie denn Wasser? Sie sollten lieber... Drei Vampire treffen sich in einer Bar. Einer kommt aus Deutschland, einer aus Russland und einer aus England. Der Deutsche bestellt sich ein Bier mit ’nem Schuss Blut und der Russe einen Wodka mit... Ein Vampir geht in eine Bar und bestellt sich ein heißes Glas Wasser.Da fragt der Wirt neugierig: "Hmm, warum wollen sie heißes Wasser und kein Blut?" Da holt der Vampir einen blutigen Tampon... Sitzt ein Eglischer Vampir in einem Kaffe und bestellt eine Tasse heißes Wasser holt einen benutzten Tampong aus der Tasche und sagt genüslich i’ts Tea Time Zwei Vampire gehen in ein Restaurant. Der Eine bestellt sich eine Schale Blut, der andere nur ein Glas heißes Wasser. Daraufhin der Eine zum Anderen: „Wieso bestellst du nur ein Glas heißes... A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea." Van tres vampiros a un bar a tomarse algo en pleno mes de agosto, va el primero y le dice al camarero: - ¡Camarero!, ponme un vaso de granizado de sangre que me muero de calor. El segundo le dice:... The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire... Trzy wampiry wchodzą do baru. Pierwszy z nich siada, a barman pyta: - Czego sobie życzysz? - Setę krwi! Drugi wampir siada, barman pyta: - A co dla Ciebie? - Dwie kolejki! Trzeci siada, barman... 3 vampires se retrouvent dans un bar lugubre, en hiver, il fait froid.... Le premier demande: - "Un grand verre de sang bien chaud, s'il vous plaît!" le deuxième demande: - "un grand verre de sang... Kolme vampyyriä meni baariin. Ensimmäinen tilasi pienen lasillisen verta, toinen tilasi ison lasin verta. Kolmas vampyyri pyysi kupillisen kuumaa vettä. Kaksi muuta vampyyriä ihmettelivät asiaa ja... 3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?” The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water... 3 vampieren stappen een caf� binnen. De eerste vampier bestelt een glaasje A negatief en hij drinkt het op. De tweede bestelt een glaasje O negatief opgewarmd. De derde bestelt een glaasje kokend... A vampire walks into a bar, sits down, and says to the bartender, "A cup of boiling water, please." The bartender, confused and scared, walks up with the water and says, "I thought vampires drank... Alcuni vampiri stanno bevendo un drink al loro bar. Entra Dracula e chiede al barista: “Una tazza di acqua bollente”. Il barista e gli altri vampiri lo guardano male. Allora lui tira fuori un...
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water.
The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood.
The vampire pulled out a вlооdy тамроn and said "TEA TIME!"
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Bar and Bartender Jokes Gross Jokes Vampire jokes
Q: What's brown and in the military?
A: Gomer's pile.
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Gross Jokes Military Jokes
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sport scars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!'' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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Gross Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
When you're neckin' with yer honey,
And your nose is kinda runny
You might think it's funny...
But it's not.
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Gross Jokes
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
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Gross Jokes
Boy Monster:
Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes
What's funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby in a clown suit!
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Kids Jokes Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes
Какво е общо между жените и топките за боулинг?
What do women and bowling ваlls have in common?
Three holes
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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Fart Jokes
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes Gross Jokes
What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
They just didn't listen
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Gross Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Hunting Jokes Relationship Jokes
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man рissеs.
Which hits the ground first? The рiss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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Gross Jokes Men jokes
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!
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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Birthday Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes
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