Gross Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
When you're a Breton woman and you miss the scent of the tide.
Кога си Бретонка и мирисот на плимата ти недостига. Cuando eres bretona y echas de menos el aroma de la marea. Когда ты бретонка и тебе не хватает запаха прилива. Wenn du Bretonin bist und dir der Duft der Gezeiten fehlt. Quand tu es bretonne et que le parfum de la marée te manque. Όταν είσαι Βρετόνα και σου λείπει το άρωμα της παλίρροιας. Quando sei bretone e ti manca il profumo della marea. Bretanyalı bir kadın olduğunda ve gelgitin kokusunu özlediğinde. Коли ти бретонка і тобі бракує запаху припливу. Quando és bretã e sentes falta do cheiro da maré. Kiedy jesteś Bretońką i brakuje ci zapachu przypływu. När du är bretonska och saknar doften av tidvattnet. Als je een Bretonse vrouw bent en je de geur van het getij mist. Når du er bretonsk kvinde og savner duften af tidevandet. Når du er bretonsk kvinne og savner lukten av tidevannet. Kun olet bretoninainen ja kaipaat vuoroveden tuoksua. Amikor breton nő vagy, és hiányzik a dagály illata. Kai esi bretonė ir tau trūksta potvynio kvapo. Kad esi bretoniete un tev pietrūkst paisuma smaržas. Kad si Bretonka i nedostaje ti miris plime. Когато си бретонка и ароматът на прилива ти липсва. Când ești bretoană și îți lipsește mirosul mareei. Když jsi Bretoňka a chybí ti vůně přílivu.
Gross Jokes
A drunк guy is sitting at a bar by himself one night and throws up all over the front of his shirt.
"Oh great, my wife is going to кill me," he mumbles to himself.
The guy sitting next to him sees what has happened and leans over towards him, "Hey buddy, just put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife the guy sitting next to you threw up on you and he gave you $20 to get your shirt cleaned."
Completely inebriated the drunк man thanks his new friend and puts a twenty in his shirt pocket and heads for home.
As soon as he walks through the front door his wife becomes irate and starts yelling at him, "Where have you been? you're completely drunк and you're a mess. Look at yourself, you puked all over the front of your shirt."
Completely wasted and slurring his words he explains to the wife, "No no, the guy sitting next to me threw up on my shirt and he gave me $20 to get it cleaned. Look, it's right here in my shirt pocket."
The wife reaches into his pocket and pulls out the money, "There's $40 in here."
"Oh yeah, he shiт in my pants too."
Drinking and Drunk Jokes Gross Jokes Dirty jokes
Вземи тия лешници,че баба няма зъби,да ги яде! Баба вика внучката си: Старушка всегда угощала кондуктора кешью и миндалем. Uma velhinha sentada atrás do motorista do ônibus, oferece alguns amendoins para o moço, que aceita. Passado um tempo ela oferece mais alguns. O motorista come e pergunta para a velhinha: Un'anziana signora avvicina un tassista e gli offre un sacchetto di nocciole croccanti dicendogli che gli spiace buttarle ma lei senza denti non riesce a mangiarle. L'uomo per rispetto dell'anziana signora e in nome della sua economicità accetta il dono la ringrazia, quindi si mangia le... Un gruppo di anziane conigliette parte per una gita in pullman e dopo qualche ora di viaggio, una di loro offre una manciata generosa di arachidi al conducente, il quale accetta ben volentieri. Poco dopo, gliene porge altri ed altri ancora, fino a quando il conducente non si preoccupa ed... Момченце отишло на гости на баба си със свой приятел. Докато приказвало с баба си в кухнята, приятелят му ядял фъстъци от купичка на масата в дневната. Когато дошло време да си тръгват, приятелят извикал: - Благодаря за фъстъците! - Моля - отвърнала бабата. - Откакто си изгубих ченето, мога само... En busschaufför kör en buss fullastad med pensionärer längs en motorväg när en gammal dam kommer fram och knackar honom på axeln. Hon erbjuder honom en handfull med jordnötter, vilken han tacksamt äter upp. Efter cirka 15 minuter kommer hon återigen... Tur otobüsü şöförünün omzuna dokunulunca adam hafifçe başını çevirmiş, bir bakmış ki elinde bir avuç badem, yaşlı bir kadın durmakta.. Teşekkür ederek almış bademleri ve yemiş.. 15 dakika sonra...
Old People Jokes Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Chocolate Jokes
Drinking all day at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up.
He doesn't make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt.
As the drunк returned to the bar the bartender asks: "what the hеll happened?"
The drunк is very upset explaining to the bartender: "my wife gonna be рissеd off! She just got me this shirt as an anniversary gift. Soon as she sees puke all over it, she will be shiттy!"
The bartender, being helpful says: "I got an idea. Why don't you put a $10 bill in the front shirt pocket and when she notices the puke you can say you drove a drunк fella home from the bar and during the drive, he got sick and puked all over the front of your new shirt?"
Naturally, the guy felt bad so he gave you the $10 so you could have it cleaned.
The drunк looked at the bartender a moment, thinking it over.
"That's a great idea, the drunк slurs. Thank you."
And the drunк left.
When the drunк walked in the front door of his home there stood his wife to greet him.
She hugged him and said: "oh my lord Frank, what happened to your new shirt?"
He explained: "I drove a drunк fella home from the bar and he puked all over the front of my shirt, patting the pocket, and gave me $10 to get it cleaned."
The wife reaches in and pulls the cash from the pocket.
"But Frank," the wife says, "there is $20 here."
Frank replies, "oh, I forgot to mention, he shiт in my pants too."
Drinking and Drunk Jokes Gross Jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
A nudе guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Military Jokes
По какво се различава късоръкият гинеколог от дългоръкия? - По какво си приличат здравото куче и късогледият гинеколог? Препознавање Schäferhunde und Gynäkologen - Что общего у здорового пса и близорукого гинеколога? У близорукого гинеколога всегда мокрый нос. Quel est le point commun entre un chiot et un gynécologue myope ? Mitä yhtäläistä on koiranpennulla ja likinäköisellä gynekologilla? Märkä nenä.. Woran erkennt man einen kurzsichtigen Gynäkologen? An der feuchten Nase. Hva er likheten på en gynekolog og en hund? - Begge er våte på nesen...
Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Gynecology Jokes Dog jokes
Банана среща вибратора и му вика: Banane zum Vibrator What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you laughing for? She's not going to eat you. Mitä banaani sanoi vibraattorille? "Miksi sä täriset? Mut se aikoo syödä" Una banana vicino ad un vibratore... ma tu che tremi a fare? Mika ti devono mangiare... Een banaan en een vibrator liggen op het nachtkastje. De banaan vraagt aan de vibrator: 'Zeker jouw eerste keer, want je trilt zo'. Sur une table de nuit, se trouvent un vibromasseur et une banane. Celle-ci dit au vibro : - Mais arrête un peu de trembler comme ça! Ce n'est pas toi qui vas te faire bouffer, tout-à-l'heure! "Hva er det du skjelver så for," sa bananen til vibratoren. "Det er jo meg hun skal spise..." Was sagte noch die Banane zum Vibrator? "Zittere nicht so, das erste Mal ging es mir ebenso..."
Gross Jokes