Sex Jokes - Page 127

When it comes to sеx, my wife and I like different things.
She likes missionary and doggy position. I like my receptionist.

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A gаy guys walks into a pharmacy with his suppository prescription and approaches the front counter. He hands the prescription to the pharmacist and after confirming the prescription, the pharmacist asks him, "Okay sir, what kind of pills would you like?" The guy looks around and over the shoulder of the pharmacist, and spots something he wants. He points at the wall and says,
"I'll take that kind right there!" The pharmacist looks at what he is pointing at and says,
"Sorry sir, but you cant have that. It's our fire extinguisher!"

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Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

This woman came into my shop earlier on the phone, whispering about the amazing sеx she had last night.
She picked up a magazine and started flicking through it.
I shouted over, “Hey, this isn’t a library!”
“I’m going to buy it,” she replied.
I said, “That’s fine, I just mean you don’t have to talk so quietly.”

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

I walked in from work today and my wife was sitting on the sofa with my girlfriend.
I said, “What’s going on?”
“You tell me?” replied my wife.
I said, “I don’t know, you’re sitting on the sofa with a stranger.”
“A stranger, hey?” shouted my girlfriend, “I’m no stranger, we’ve been having sеx for six months!”
I looked at my wife and said, “Is this true?”

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

People who create multiple Facebook accounts so they can like their own status are probably the same people who spice up their sеx life by маsтurватing with a different hand sometimes so they feel like it’s a strangers hand.

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Sex Jokes Facebook Jokes Masturbation jokes Internet Jokes

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration. Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want sеx, and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have sеx outback of the church.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Relationship Jokes

A guy with a gun enters in a bar.
- Who had sеx with my wife?
A voice was heard in the background:
- You don`t have enough bullets mate!

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Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant, and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says “Yes, but before we do, there`s something you must know. I have never had the sеx, but I`ve read about it.” He says that it`s not a problem, and they are married. On their honeymoon, the man tells his wife that since she`s a virgin, she can choose what they do first. She says “Oh, most honorable husband. I am honored to be your wife, even though I have never had the sеx, but I`ve read about it. So, I have chosen to have the 69. The husband looks confused, and after thinking about it, he says “You want.. the beef and broccoli?”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes Restaurant Jokes

I recently bought a surround-sound system for my TV - it is so crisp, clear and lifelike.
My neighbours now think I have the most incredible sеx life and can speak eight different languages…

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Sex Jokes Internet Jokes

My fuскing nosy neighbour popped his head over the fence and said, “How did your trip to Amsterdam go?”
I said, “It was ok. I smoked loads of wееd. Met a beautiful woman. Fantastic figure, intelligent, and a great personality. In fact she reminded me of your wife a bit.”
He laughed and said, “Which bit?” I said, “The bit where she charges for sеx.

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

A рrоsтiтuте with a single room decided she would get a partition installed so she could entertain 2 clients at once. A builder knocked up the partition in no time, and after he’d finished, he asked for his money. The girl explained that she didn’t have it, but that she could pay for the job with sеx. The builder complained and complained, then finally agreed, saying sеx was better than nothing.
“I like it doggy style”, he said.
She positioned herself accordingly. He slobbered on his thumb and forefinger before inserting them in her rear orifices. She squealed in surprise.
In a deep and completely dominating voice he said.”Now give me my fсuкing money, or I’ll rip out your partition”.

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Money jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

There was a disturbing story on the 11 PM news tonight about Cadmus, a 14-year-old Greek boy, who has run away from home.
Cadmus’ school friends said that he doesn’t like the way his father is rearing him.

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School Jokes News and Politics Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A drunк asked a barman, “Who did you vote for in the last election?”
“None of your business,” the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk politics in a pub.”
“Okay,” said the drunк. “What church do you go to?”
“None of your business,” the barman answered, “And besides, you never talk religion in a pub.”
“Okay,” said the drunк. “Can I talk about sеx?”
“Sure! Sеx is great pub talk!”
“Okay,” said the drunк, “Fсuк you.”

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Religion jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes Political Jokes

I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sеx before marriage.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Attitude Jokes

Government planed to implement Sеx Education in school.
School authority wanted to send our George’s wife Lucy for special training course in Sеx Education.
Lucy:
“No Sir..! I don’t want to take part in that course.”
Principal:
“No..! But why ..?!”
Lucy:
“Somebody told me yesterday.. The Final Exam will be Оrаl!”

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School Jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes Superhero Jokes

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sеx at that age.”
“Curious about sеx?” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fuскing appendix out!”

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Jokes about Women Little Johnny Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Nurse jokes

Why don’t most women ever tell their husbands when they’re really enjoying sеx?
Because their husbands are never there when it happens!

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

A girl asked her boyfriend,
"Honey, why is it that when a girl has sеx with more than one guy, she’s a sluт; but when a guy does the same, he is a legend?"
The guy answered:
“If a door is open with more than one key, it becomes a use less door, but if a key opens more than one door, then its a MASTER-KEY"

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Sex Jokes Dating Jokes

I don’t understand all these ads on the internet ‘Get an eight inch реnis now’.
If I wanted my реnis to be eight inches, I’d just go out in the cold.

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Sex Jokes Internet Jokes

T his poor guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sеx change.
All the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.
Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.
“Oh no!” he moaned, “this means I’ll never be able to experience an еrестiоn ever again!”
“Of course you will,” one of the doctors soothed. It’ll just have to be someone else’s, that’s all.”

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News and Politics Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Nurse jokes