Sex Jokes

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Баща към дъщеря си: Една баба влиза в аптеката. Една баба влегува во аптека и ѝ вели на аптекарката: - Ќерко, дај ми таблети против главоболка! Еве, од овие белите со сината лентичка! - Бабичке тоа се таблети за контрацепција! – Возвраќа... An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken... Un doctor que había estado viendo a una viejecita de 75 años durante muchos años, se retiró. Cuando la viejita vuelve a su control mensual, el nuevo doctor le pidió que trajera una lista de todas... Una señora compra todos los días una caja de píldoras anticonceptivas. El farmacéutico, sorprendido, le pregunta: - Dígame, señora, ¿para qué necesita tanta cantidad? - Es que las uso para el dolor... Una abuela entró al consultorio del médico. El doctor le preguntó por qué estaba allí, ella respondió: - Me gustaría que recetara píldoras anticonceptivas. Desconcertado, el médico pensó por un... В аптеку заходит пожилая женщина: - Jag förstår inte frun, ni vill ha p-piller som lugnande medel ... Men p-piller har ingen lugnande verkan! - Jodå, det har de visst, doktorn. När min dotter går ut på kvällarna ger jag henne ett...
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И слона казал на голия мъж: Naked Man What did the elephant say to the naked man? Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. ¿Qué le dijo un elefante a un hombre desnudo?. Que le dijo el Elefante al Hombre desnudo ? Cómo podes respirar por ahí ? - Наверное, через него дышать трудно? - спросил слон голого мужика. Zwei Elefanten sehen zum erstenmal einen nackten Mann. Sie schauen an ihm runter, schauen wieder hoch, schauen sich zweifelnd an: "Wie zum Teufel kriegt der sein Essen in den Mund?" Un éléphant sort de la jungle pour aller boire et là, à sa stupéfaction, il aperçoit un homme blanc tout nu ! C'est un mec, tout nu dans la savane. Il marche. Ledit mec vient à rencontrer un éléphant. Un mâle. L'éléphant regarde le mec sous toutes les coutures. ça dure un bon moment et enfin... L'éléphant... Que dit un éléphant lorsqu'il rencontre un nudiste ? Alors, c'est avec ça que tu bois !? Προβοσκίδα Elephant Cosa dice un elefante quando vede un uomo nudo ? Ma come fara' a bere? Sabe o que o elefante disse para o homem pelado? Como você acha que pode se alimentar usando ISSO? Vet du vad elefanten sa när han såg en naken man? - Hur kan du äta med en sån liten snabel? 2 elefanter To elefanter ser for første gang en nøgen mand. De kiggede grundigt op og ned af ham. Derefter udbrød den ene, hvordan fanden får han sin mad i munden. Hvad sagde elefanten til den nøgne man?– “Hvordan kan du trække vejret igennem den lille ting?”
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Мъж се прибира и заварва жена си с чужд мъж в леглото. муж приходит с ночной смены, заходит в спальню, а там - его жена с... Der Ehemann kommt nach Hause und findet seine Frau mit seinem besten Freund im Bett. Kommt ein Mann nach Hause und erwischt seine Frau mit einem Anderen. Er brüllt los: "Was macht ihr denn da?" Sagt sie zu ihrem Liebhaber: "Siehst du, ich sagte doch, er weiß nicht, wie’s geht!" Ein Ehemann überrascht seine Frau mit einem anderen Mann im Bett. Darauf er: "WAS MACHT IHR DENN DA? Seine Frau: "Hab Dir doch gesagt, dass er keine Ahnung davon hat! Χαζούλης Marido furioso, chegando em casa e encontrando a mulher na cama com outro: - O que vocês estão fazendo? A mulher, virando-se para o outro: - Viu? Não lhe disse que ele era burro? A férj hazaérkezésekor a feleségét ágyban találja egy idegen fickóval. - Mit műveltek ti itt? - ordítja. Közben az asszony a szeretőjéhez fordul: - Ugye megmondtam, hogy hülye! Vrátí se manžel, jak už to bývá, o dva dny dříve ze služební cesty, rozrazí dveře do ložnice a nevěří vlastním očím. Manželka s milencem v posteli! Zařve jak na lesy: „Tak a co tu děláte!” Jeho...
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An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to... Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town." The old man says, "We're from...
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Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband:
"Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?"
I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison"
And they throw the first one.
and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband:
"Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!"
The guy not very delighted tells her:
"Lets put him into the prison another time!!"
And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him:
"!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!"
The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal.
And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says:
"!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!"
And he answers with his last breath:
"HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
Булката казва на младоженеца: A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
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Тя: Lei: “Caro, non credevo che tu potessi avere un organo cosi’ piccolo!”. Lui: “Cara, non credevo di dover suonare in una cattedrale!”. Noite de núpcias. Depois de fazer amor pela primeira vez, a noiva fala pro noivo: — Querido, eu nunca imaginei que você tivesse um órgão tão pequeno! — Nem eu sabia — ele responde — que um dia... Efter samlaget: - Det var ett litet instrument du hade. - Jag är faktiskt inte van att uppträda i så stora lokaler... Frun efter samlaget: - Det var inte nåt stort instrument du hade och komma med. Gubben: - Nä, men så har jag aldrig spelat i så stora lokaler förr heller… Een Hollander gaat in België naar een hoerenkast. De Hollander en de madam kleden zich uit. De madam kijkt eens naar die Hollander en zegt: "Wat hebde gij een klein fluitje." De Hollander kijkt... - Asszonyom, miért akar elválni? - Kicsi az ember vonója! - Igaz ez uram? - Nagy a terem, ahol hegedálni kell!
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