Sports Jokes

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In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sport scars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!'' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Manchester United.
They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together.
One half-time Neil went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for A16.
The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty.
Then on Boxing day, much to James and Neil's amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season.
Neil could not resist asking the newcomer, 'Where have you been all season'.
'Don't ask' he said, 'the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.'
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Знаете ли защо Куба нямат национален отбор по плуване !? Защо мексиканците нямат Олимпийски отбор? ¿Por qué los mexicanos no van a las Olimpiadas?. Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America. Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? ¿Por qué en Cuba no hay piscinas?.,Porque todos los que saben nadar se han ido a los EEUU... ¿Porque México no tiene equipo olímpico? Porque todos los mexicanos que saben correr, saltar y nadar están en Estados Unidos Waarom doet Mexico nooit mee aan de Olympische Spelen? Alles wat hard kan rennen, springen of zwemmen zit al in Amerika… Miksi Meksikolla ei ole olympiajoukkuetta? - Koska kaikki juoksu-, hyppy-, ja uintitaitoiset ovat jo karanneet Yhdysvaltojen puolelle - Miért nem indított Kuba evezős válogatottat az olimpián? - Mert aki evezni tud, az már Floridában van.
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