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A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a piece of cork up his аss.
''Why do you have a cork up your аss?''
''Well, it's a long story. But one day I was walking on the beach and I tripped over a bottle and woke up a genie who said he would grant me one wish. I said, 'No s**t!'''

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Corpsalicious!
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ''There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.''
After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's аnus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it.
''Next,'' the professor said, ''you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.''

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Science jokes Student jokes

Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The hide-and-seek champion of 1996.

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Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What is the definition of agony?
A: A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy ваlls.

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Gross Jokes

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a соw in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's аss. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a соw.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Redneck jokes

Q: How do you get a baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.

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Gross Jokes Fitness jokes Baby Jokes

Q: Why do dogs liск their ваlls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.

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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Dog jokes

Q: How do you make a baby drink?
A: Stick it in the blender.

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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes

Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant?
A: Apologize and wipe it off.

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Gross Jokes

Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
A. Polaroids.

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Gross Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder.

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Gross Jokes

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed.
He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his соw. The vet took one look at the соw, stuck a tube up the соw's вuтт, and blew into the tube until the соw's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the соw's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the соw's вuтт. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to вlоw. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the соw's вuтт and started to вlоw.
"What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified.
"Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."

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Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes Veterinarian Jokes

Q: How do you know when a blonde has a brain fаrт?
A: Her ears flap.

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Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Fart Jokes

Two men both drag their right feet as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog сrар, 20 feet back."

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

Two flies sit on a pile of роор. One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey, do you mind? I'm eating here."

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used тамроn and ask him what period it came from.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
It's all over town.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes

To Boldly Go...
Q: Why did Captain Kirk рiss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.

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Gross Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
"What is your sin, my child?" The priest asks back.
"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible."
"When did you do use this awful language?" said the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Father." Said the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
Is THAT when you swore?" asked the Father again.
"Well, no." said the man, "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.
"No, not yet." The man replied. "As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked the now impatient Priest.
"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."
"You missed the f**king putt, didn't you?" sighed the Priest.

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