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Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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Money jokes Science jokes Chemistry Jokes

Раddy and Murphy were doing a crossword.
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"?
Murphy replies, "What color?"

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Kids Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes

I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...

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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

What's Mexicans favorite video game?
Borderlands

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Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!

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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

Yo mamma so sтuрid her password needed 8 characters, so she typed "Snow White and the 7 dwarfs

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The winner of tonight's election is the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.

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The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?"
Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."

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School Jokes Math Jokes

She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.

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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes Fitness jokes

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.
His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support.
At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.
Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one.
Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.
At 8:55 Mary walks into the office.
"I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off."
"Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Political Jokes Boss Jokes

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc.
A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily.
When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"

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Science jokes Math Jokes

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.
"YOU'RE DRUNК!" exclaimed the police officer.
"Thank God for that!" said the drunк, "I thought the steering had gone."

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A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers."
"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my ваlls!"
"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Yo mama so fат she got a parking ticket for standing at a crosswalk.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

My husband told me to find him the best реnis еnlаrgемеnт product.
So I gave him a magnifying glass!

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