Nerd jokes

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Two students talk:
"What are you reading?"
"Quantum physics theory book."
"But why are you reading it upside-down?"
"It makes no difference anyway."

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Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.

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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

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If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'll run on Linux?

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Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"

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Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958

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What will my computer printer warranty cover?
Your mouse pad.

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
No веll, I knock.

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Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of вееr, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Аsshоlеs, here are 2 beers!"

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Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.

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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

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Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

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Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.

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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

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What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?!"

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