Newest jokes - Page 240

Jоск Воотy Call... Tight End:
I'm looking for a tight end that plays like a wide receiver. High five!

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Sports Jokes

Tiger Woods was traveling through rural Kentucky in his new Mercedes. He stopped at a small gas station and asked the mechanic if he could get his oil changed.
"Why sure," the mechanic said, not seeming to recognize the golf star.
About thirty minutes later the oil change is complete. As Tiger started to back the car out, the mechanic noticed some buttons on the dashboard and asked Tiger what they were for.
Tiger looked down at the tees on his dash and says, "Those are what I set my ваlls on."
The old man replied, "Boy oh Boy, those Germans think of everything, don't they!"

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Sports Jokes

Two Dallas Cowboys were in a car. Who was driving?
The cops.

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Sports Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Pros/Cons of a Тhrееsоме:
Advantages
1. It can get really weird
2. Someone can go for вееr without interrupting the proceedings
3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one
4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13
5. You get to watch your best friends making love
6. You get to get watched making love
7. Simultaneous enjoying inтеrсоursе and оrаl sеx has to be experienced to be believed
8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing
9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms
10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out
11. You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it
12. Calling out the wrong name during сliмаx isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left
13. Three-person showers are fantastic
14. Three-person nакеd belly laughs are even better
15. Three-person kisses are best
Disadvantages
1. It can get really weird
2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings
3. Simultaneous оrgаsмs are even trickier to pull off
4. You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt
5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows
6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like
7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them
8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks
9. Morning breath multiplied by 3
10. You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want
11. You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want
12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships
13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple
14. Sorting clothes quickly when the significant other walks in assumes comical proportions
15. Now there are two wet spots to avoid.

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Sports Jokes Beer Jokes

There were 3 basketball players, one each from IU, Notre Dame, and Purdue, standing on a burning roof in Indianapolis. The fire department came with a blanket and yelled to the Notre Dame player to jump. He jumped and they moved it to the right. He hit the sidewalk with a splat.
They then called to the IU player to jump. He said that he wouldn't jump. They said they liked IU better than Norte Dame. So he jumped and the fire department moved the blanket to the left. The IU player hit with a splat on the sidewalk.
Then they called to the Purdue player to jump. He said that he wouldn't jump. The fire department said they hated IU and Notre Dame. He yelled back, "Lay the blanket down on the sidewalk, and then I'll jump!"

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Sports Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Three guys walk into a motel and find out there is only one room with only one bed. Since it's the only motel in town, the guys decide to share the bed. They get to their room, squeeze in, and fall asleep.
The next morning, the guy on the left side of the bed wakes up and says, "I had the craziest dream about getting the best hаndjов of my life."
The guy on the right side says, "That's incredible - I had the same dream!"
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "Wow, I had the weirdest dream!" The other two guys nod their heads in anticipation.
"I was cross-country skiing really, really fast..."

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Sports Jokes

Three diскs are talking about what their owners are like.
Two of the diскs say their owners are really nice and like to rub them and pat them. The third diск says that his owner is really mean. The two other diскs ask him why, and he explains, Well, every night my owner puts a raincoat on me, sticks me in a deep dark hole and makes me do pushups untill I throw up.

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Sports Jokes

Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second base?
A: There's a shortstop between second base and third base.

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Sports Jokes

Q: Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A: The players dribble all over the court.

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Sports Jokes

Q: Why couldn't Texas A&M put on a nativity scene?
A: Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

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Sports Jokes God Jokes Men jokes USA Jokes Christian Jokes

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football." And it was good. Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue. God said, "Let it be called, ''The Dallas Cowboys'' - America''s team." Later that day, God said, "Even Cowboys need a**holes."So he made their fans.

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Sports Jokes God Jokes Men jokes Soccer Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis ваlls lying by the side of the road.
He picked the ваlls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis ваlls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."

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Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Beauty Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.

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Sports Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Soccer Jokes

Q: What has teeth but no mouth?
A: A comb.

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Sports Jokes

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the dамn ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."

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Sports Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

Q: Why did the coach give his football team lighters?
A: They kept losing their matches.

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Sports Jokes

Jоск Воотy Call... Team:
You mind if we double team? High five!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

A biker had been injured in an accident and was hospitalized. Several nurses each had the opportunity to give him a sponge bath and were commenting on his gеniтаls. They all had noticed a tattoo of the word ''Little.
" So they drew straws to see who would find out what the whole tattoo said. The nurse with the shortest straw went into the guy's room while the others waited in the hall. Suddenly, they heard a commotion, then moans of passion and a piercing scream. Finally, she came out of the room with her skirt up around her waist, her раnтiеs around one ankle and a contented smile on her face. The others ask her what she found out.
"It says 'Little Rock Arkansas, Big Diск Champion, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997 and 1998!'''

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Sports Jokes Nurse jokes Cyclist Humor

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him what he did about sеx. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sеx was and he said, "Oh, Tarzan use a hole in the trunk of tree!"
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong! I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, dropped to the ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer, and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hеll did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for bees first!"

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Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What did the right ball say to the left ball?
A: The guy in the middle is a real diск.

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Sports Jokes

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