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Копеле, вървя си вчера и кво да видя A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord.... There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, I'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay... Вчера спас девушку, лежащую на рельсах. 2 Lokführer unterhalten sich. Sagt der eine: "Du, gestern ist mir was tolles passiert. Ich fahr so durch die Nacht und auf einmal sehe ich eine nackte Frau auf den Schienen liegen ... Ich hab den... C’est deux copains qui discutent dans un bar. Un homme croise un ami dans la rue : Un homme rentre de son footing et raconte sa journée à un ami. - Aujourdhui il m'est arrivé un truc de malade! - Que c'est il passé ? - Je courais le loin de la voie de chemin de fer et je vois une... Een lelijke kerel komt een bar binnen met een enorme grijns op zijn gezicht. “Waarom ben jij zo blij?” vraagt de barman. “Nou”, antwoordt de man, “ik woon vlakbij de spoorlijn en bij thuiskomst...
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John O'Reilly hoisted his вееr and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself.
You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years.
Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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Девойка разговаря със смартфона си: Me: Siri, why am I alone? Девушка разговаривает со своим смартфоном: Frage an Siri:"Wieso bin ich noch immer Single?" Siri öffnet die Frontkamera. Fragt eine Frau: "Siri, warum bin ich Single?" Siri öffnet Frontkamera.     Un homme à son cellulaire Apple : - Siri, pourquoi je suis célibataire? Et siri ouvre la caméra.
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Нормално ли е телефонът ми да лети само около 25 метра в самолетен режим? Изпуснах си телефона от пети етаж, а долу - паркинг. Ама нищо му нямаше - бях го сложил в самолетен режим. A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How come? Ist es normal, dass mein Handy auch im Flugzeugmodus nicht weiter als 25 Meter fliegt? Hier, j'ai jeté mon téléphone par la fenêtre et il s'est cassé en tombant par terre, pourtant il était en mode avion!
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