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Latest Jokes

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting

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USA Jokes American Jokes

Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

The web isn’t better than sеx, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.

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Programmer Jokes Sex Jokes Computer Jokes

You know it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with your computer when….
You wake up at 3 o’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and you stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape before you landscape.
Your family always knows where you are.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Computer Jokes Relationship Jokes

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags I asked if he was an orphan he said “Yeah what gave me away” I said his parents

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Kids Jokes

This guy said send me a nакеd pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.

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Dirty jokes

What do you call a соw on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.

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Animal Jokes

And God said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road."

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God Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Animal Jokes

Two cannibals were having lunch.
"Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other.
"Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had low "elf" esteem!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Christmas Jokes

Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

A retiree said to his 80 year old friend, “It it true you’re getting married?”
“Sure is.”
“Have I met her?”
“I don't think so.”
“Is she attractive?”
“Won't win any beauty contests.”
“Can she cook?”
“Can't even boil an egg.”
“Is she rich?”
“Rich? Heck, she's so poor she can't even pay attention.”
“She must be great in the sack then?”
“I haven't actually found out.”
“My God, man, why are you marrying her?”
“She can still drive.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes

Bob asks his grandmother:
"Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?"
"Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us."
Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers:
"Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"

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Kids Jokes Grandparent Jokes

A teacher asks the class to name things that end with ‘tor’ that eat things.
The first little boy says, “Alligator.”
“Very good, that’s a big word.”
The second boy says, “Predator.”
“Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.”
Little Johnny says, “Viвrатоr, Miss.”
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat anything.”
“Well my sister has one and she says it eats fсuкing batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard.
Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained.
One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?"
"Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his реnis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his реnis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."
"What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women.
"On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Weather jokes

Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

What do you call your angry french aunt
A crossaunt

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Nationality Jokes

*Bumps into your crush*
You: Oh, I'm sorry... Almost fell in love right there.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Harry Potter Jokes

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

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School Jokes