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A young man and woman got married. At the time of their marriage, the husband noticed his wife carried a decently sized metal box and shoved it up at the top of their closet. Curious as he was, the wife told him to never to look in it no matter what the circumstances. Over the years, he saw that metal box in the closet, but never peered into it for the sake of his wife. One day, though, the wife had a sтrоке and was rushed to the hospital. As the husband sat grieving at home, he thought of the box, snatched it up, and sped to the hospital where his wife remained with her death coming soon. The husband bolted to her hospital room and pleaded and begged her to allow him to open the box by her side. "Well" she said,
"I suppose now would be the right time." The husband unlatched the hook and peered inside. On one side sat two crocheted dolls, and on the other, to his surprise, sat one million dollars! "Honey, before we got married, my mother gave me this box and told me that whenever I got mad at you, I should go to the bedroom and crotchet a doll," said the wife. The husband was thrilled and thankful. He absolutely couldn't believe his wife had only been mad at him two times! "That is amazing!" said the husband to his wife. "Honey, I'm grateful beyond belief you've only been mad at me twice, but how on this earth did you manage to get one million dollars?"
"Oh, honey" said the wife, "That's the money I got from selling the dolls."
Jokes about Women Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes
Една баба отишла на доктор. El medico y sus teorias Το αριστερό πόδι Ein Mann kommt zum Arzt und hat fürchterliche Schmerzen in seinem linken Bein. Der Arzt untersucht ihn und stellt fest: "Tja, mein lieber, da kann man nichts machen. Das sind wohl die ersten Altersbeschwerden!" Daraufhin der Patient: "Ach was! Mein anderes Bein ist genauso alt und da zwickt nix!" En una consulta médica un hombre de avanzada edad escucha a su medico que le dice su diagnostico: El dolor de su pierna derecha se produce por su avanzada edad. El paciente muy convencido le dice: No, porque la otra pierna tiene la misma edad y no me duele En el médico: - Doctor, me duele esta pierna - Eso es cosa de la edad - Ya, doctor, pero esta otra pierna tiene la misma edad y no me duele... Komt een dom blondje de dokterspraktijk binnenlopen en zegt tegen de dokter “Ik heb de laatste tijd toch zo'n last van mijn linkerbeen, heeft u misschien een idee wat het zou kunnen zijn?” De... Va un anciano de 80 años al médico y le dice: - Doctor, la pierna izquierda me duele mucho. A lo que el doctor le responde: - No se preocupe hombre, que eso es por la edad. Y el anciano le... An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives... Un batran se duce la doctor Si ii spune ca il doare piciorul drept. - Nimic grav, spune doctorul. Varsta e de vina. - Nu cred. Piciorul stang are aceeasi Varsta si nu ma doare. „Pane Novák, ty bolesti ve vaší noze jsou prostě věkem.” „Divné. Moje druhá noha je úplně stejně stará a nebolí!” An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old... O velhinho vai ao médico e reclama de dor na perna direita. O médico o examina, examina e não acha nada de errado. — A sua perna não tem nada. Está perfeita! — Então, por que é que dói? — Ah, deve... Doktor: - "Bacağınızdaki ağrı sadece ihtiyarlıktan." Hasta: - "Öbür bacağım da aynı yaşta ama turp gibi." Er komt een vrouw bij de dokter. Ze zegt: 'Dokter, ik heb heel erg last van mijn rechterbeen. Heeft u misschien enig idee wat het kan zijn?' Antwoordt de Dokter: 'Ik denk dat dat komt door...
Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes
Раddy is walking down the Blackpool prom one day and he sees a mother вrеаsт feeding her baby boy. … Раddy stops to speak to the mother. “That’s what I like to see natural вrеаsт-feeding, I was raised on that.” The young mother tells Раddy to clear off. Раddy continues, “No seriously I was raised on the stuff, look at me, tall, lots of muscles, and really fit, looking at the baby вrеаsт feeding takes me back to me childhood”, he pauses…., “can I try вrеаsт feeding on the other вrеаsт”. …
…
The young mother says again, “Get away with ye, Раddy”. Раddy says convincingly “You’ve got plenty of вrеаsт milk for baby, and he doesn’t need the other вrеаsт.”
The young mother looks and Раddy and thinks, well he is good looking, fit and lots of muscle, “Come over here Раddy and you can get on the other вrеаsт”. Раddy begins suскing on the other вrеаsт. After five minutes or so, the young woman has become more relaxed and is starting to get aroused. Panting slightly, she lies back and whispers to Раddy:
“Раddy ….. is there anything else you want ?”
Paddy asks “err…. Have you got any Farley’s Rusks or a ваngеr?”
Jokes about Women Irish jokes
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said,
"Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said,
"Bring me the gun"
And the man from New York said,
"Bring me a fork"
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them.
The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUСКЕRS”
Men jokes Military Jokes American Presidents Humor
Pourquoi les blondes sont elles contentes d'avoir des orgasmes ? - Comme ça elles savent quand elles doivent arreter de baiser ? Perche’ le bionde raggiungono l’orgasmo? Per capire quando devono smettere di scopare! Hvorfor fant Gud opp orgasme? - Fordi at blondinene skulle vite når de skulle stoppe og knulle.. Varför får blondiner orgasm? Så att dom vet när dom ska sluta ha sex Hvorfor fÂr blondiner orgasme? Hvorfor fÂr blondiner orgasme? - Ellers ved de ikke hvornÂr de skal holde op med at dyrke sex!
Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes