Newest jokes - Page 2567

What does Barbie use as a тамроn?
A Tic-Tac.

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Dirty jokes

Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!

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Animal Jokes

Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.

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Blonde Jokes

What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
His son running away with your VCR.

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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds.
The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his ваlls weighed five pounds.
All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.
Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.
The head nurse replied, "We don't know what to do with this baby."
So the chief surgeon took one look and said,
"You should put him into a mental institution."
"Why?' asked the head nurse.
"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him.
The boy is obviously half nuts."

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Nurse jokes Boss Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.

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Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Coffee Jokes

Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second.
Mortal: What is a million pounds like to you?
God: Like one penny.
Mortal: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second…

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Money jokes God Jokes

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked,
"Grandpa are you going to take that new Viаgrа?"
Grandpa, caught off-guard, looks at him and says,
"No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why not?" asks little Johnny.
Grandpa replies,
"Well Johnny, because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one to write to."

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Little Johnny Jokes Old People Jokes Viagra jokes

Wife:
"There's trouble with car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband:
"Water in a carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife:
"I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor."
Husband:
"You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife:
"In the pool."

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Marriage and Family Jokes

What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A lazy b*tch.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason

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Money jokes

Do you like soda? Because I would mount and dew you.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

A student to his teacher:
"I haven't got no pencil."
Teacher, correcting him:
"You don't have any pencil.
He doesn't have any pencils.
We don't have any pencils."
Student, with a look of astonishment:
"Where have all the pencils gone?"

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School Jokes Student jokes

Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.

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Sports Jokes

Pappu:My internet is not working properly.. O
Officer:Ok, Double click on “My computer”
Pappu:I can’t see ur computer..
Officer:No no.. click on “My computer” on ur computer..
Pappu:How can I click on ur computer from my computer?..
Officer:listen.. There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on ur computer.. Ok. double click on it..
Pappu:what the hеll, what is your computer doing on my computer..???
Officerouble click on ur computer..
Pappu:On which Icon i’ve to click..
Officer:
“My Computer”..
Pappu:…Oh u Idiот…… Tell me where is ur office…I’ll come there and click on ur “Computer.

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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes

What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!

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Gross Jokes

And where was the location of the accident?
Approximately milepost 499.
And where is milepost 499?
Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

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Car and driving jokes Police Officer Jokes

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office.
At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses.
At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed.
"I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes

A drunк staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says,
"Dude, I'm Jesus Сhrisт!" And the priest says,
"No son, you're not." So the drunк goes over to the second priest and says,
"Man, I'm Jesus Сhrisт!" Then the priest says,
"No son, you're not." Finally, the drunк had enough and said,
"Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunк and says,
"Jesus Сhrisт, you're back AGAIN?"

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Religion jokes Men jokes Priest Jokes

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