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Latest Jokes

Social Media is a lot like being married.
You can express your opinion on anything you want but you will quickly be informed as to why you are wrong.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Internet Jokes

A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says:
"I’m sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says " 10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies “Nine”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Yo momma’s so fат, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

“You have diabetes,“ the doctor said sweetly.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Disability Jokes

Say what you want about deaf people...

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Communication Jokes

Ladies, if there’s a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family...
.. it’s Mark Zuckerberg.

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Birthday Jokes

Why are there so many old people in Church? They're cramming for the final.

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Old People Jokes Christian Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?
Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

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Chemistry Jokes

The hardest part of getting a girls phone number is working up the courage to go through her trash and get it.

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Office and Work Jokes Attitude Jokes

For my next trick I need a соndом and a volunteer...

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Flirt jokes

How many duffers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
4. One to hold the light bulb and stand on a spinning chair and 3 to spin the chair round and round!

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Light bulb jokes

I'm the only single guy left out of all of my friends. I'm the last man standing. It's like my buddies and I were in a war movie, where we're storming the beach with machine gun nests, only instead of bullets, they're shooting rings.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes Friendship Jokes Single People Jokes

Some guy was yelling at me today, complaining about my driving, saying I shouldn't be allowed on the highway…
I'll play golf wherever I want!

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Golf jokes

I made my girlfriends dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the f**king miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dating Jokes

How long are math snakes?
3.14 feet. Well, at least the πthon is
(I'm so sorry)

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Math Jokes

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler
Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

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Hitler Jokes American Presidents Humor

Bill had been quite the ladies man and player all his life, but now that he was getting up there in age, his doctor was getting concerned about him.
“Bill,” advised the doctor, “I can add 15 more years to your life if you will just quit your old routine of wine, women, and song.”
Bill thought for a few minutes, then said:
“Tell you what doc, I’ll settle for five more years and just give up singing.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Wine jokes Sick and Death Jokes

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.

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Dad Jokes

Why is World Autism Day after April Fools’ Day?
Because it takes longer for them to get the joke.

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April Fools' Jokes

Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.
He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the рот-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.
Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Неll, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.
When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, 'Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place.'

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Lawyer Jokes Military Jokes