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Latest Jokes

A physics student asked her professor to describe what happened right before the Big Ваng...
.... But the professor couldn't, because there was no time.

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Physics jokes School Jokes

What did a physics teacher say to calm down a student who wanted to jump off the roof?
Don't do that, you have so much potential!

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Physics jokes School Jokes

I yelled, “СОW!” at a woman on a bike
As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the соw.
I tried.

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Cow jokes Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes Fat Jokes

I saw a man in the street with a dog and a white stick. I said ‘You must be blind.’ He said ‘Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.’
So I said ‘There’s a tree over there.’

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Dog jokes

I bought my wife a Pug as a present.
Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fат, the dog seems to like her.

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Fat Jokes Dog jokes

I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat
The librarian said "That rings a веll but I don't know if it's here or not."

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

Who is the соскsuскеr deleting all these jokes?

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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

What do a Pakistani wife and husband have in common?
Nothing. It was an arranged marriage.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

What's another word for dinosaur?
Thesaurus

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Dinosaur jokes

Classroom Nerd
(In a high school class room)
Girl: Do you see that [email protected]#$ING nerd over there.
Teacher: Don't be so mean, he could be your boss one day.
Nerd: Sorry I don't plan on being a pimp

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Nerd jokes School Jokes Boss Jokes

What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies?
They both violate the rules of the premises.

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Nerd jokes

What do you call an Italian hоокеr?
A PASTA-tute!
I am so sorry.

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Italian Jokes

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess
So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle

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Italian Jokes

Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I wont pay £300 for a lentil on my face.

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Sex Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

A policeman knocked on my door last night.
He said, “A man was badly beaten up in the pub last night, he has a fractured cheekbone, a broken nose and 2 black eyes.”
“Really?” I asked.
He said, “Yes, we think it was you.”
I said, “Well it wasn’t me, look at my face.”

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Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Stupid Jokes

I’d like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I’m not sure about you people, but I think we’re being overcharged on groceries.

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Money jokes Food Jokes Stupid Jokes

Two women apply for the same office job.
One is straight out of university and has a degree in business and the other one has been doing the same job for a different company for three years and has a wealth of knowledge and experience. Which one gets the job?
The one with the biggest тiтs, of course.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Sexist Jokes Boob Jokes

Every woman’s magazine:
Page 8: Accept yourself for who you are
Page 15: How to lose 2 stone in a week
Page 16: Best cake recipe

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

A kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you.
So I popped his balloon with my lit cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.

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Kids Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

A middle-aged woman reads that vaginas get wider and deeper with age. So she tries to check her own by stripping off, putting a mirror on the floor and spreading her legs over it.
Suddenly, her husband comes in and grabs her arm, violently pulling her away from where the mirror is laying.
“You could have broken my arm!” she shouts at him.
He points at the mirror and says “But if you’d fallen down that hole, you would have broken your neck.”

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Jokes about Women Sarcasm Jokes