Latest Jokes

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, "You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?"  Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it's so we wouldn't wake all those people sleeping." A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." Lezione di catechismo. L’insegnante chiede ai bambini: “Lo sapete perché bisogna fare silenzio in chiesa?” Pierino, prontissimo: “Sì, perché la gente sta dormendo!” Sekmadieninės mokyklos mokytoja paklausė savo vaikų, beeinančių į bažnyčios susirinkimą: „Kodėl bažnyčioje būtina laikytis tylos?“ Viena guvi mergaitė atsakė: „Nes ten visi miega“.
Church jokes
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in рsyсhо-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're inthe wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get suскеd into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suск, we would all fall off.
23.. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your вuтт tomorrow.
Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Бабата се затътря до офиса на адвоката и иска той да й помогне да се разведе. Egy idős nénike bemegy az ügyvédi irodába, és mondja az ügyvédnek, hogy válópert szeretne indítani. - Hány éves tetszik lenni? - kérdezi az ügyvéd. - 83. - És a férje? - 86. - És mióta házasok? -...
Lawyer Jokes
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." "That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father...
School Jokes Pilot Jokes Aviation Jokes Nurse jokes Lawyer Jokes
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whоrеhоusе."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the веll. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
One day at school, the teacher was talking to the class about there parent's occupations. Jane put up her hand and said, "My mother is a nurse". The teacher said, "That's wonderful, she helps to cure sick people."Andrew then out up his hand. "My father is a pilot," he said. The teacher said,...
School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Medical and Doctor Jokes
A rabbi, priest, and a preacher meet every Monday in a coffee shop to talk things over about their spiritual life.
One day, the priest makes a bet with the other guys that he could convert a bear in the woods over to his religion. The others nod and say "Yeah, I'll bet we could do it quicker than you could!"
So they all agree that the next time they meet, they'll share stories about how they were able to convert a bear.
They all end up in the hospital, but the priest is in the best shape of all of them. They decide to meet in the rabbi's room. The priest has his arm in a sling and says, "Yeah, it was tough at first, but I was able to dash it with some holy water. The next thing I know, it started saying Hail Mary. He's coming to mass this Sunday."
The other two clergymen nod in approval, and the preacher goes next. The preacher is in pretty bad shape. He's in a wheel chair, and he has a concussion, a broken leg, and a broken arm. He says "Well, when I finally happened upon it, I wrestled that thing to the ground and started beating its head with a Bible. So he lunges at me and we tumble down this hill into the river where I dunked him seven times. Finally, he came to the faith. He'll be coming to church next Sunday."
Both men turn to the rabbi to hear his story. The rabbi looks like he got the worst of it. He's in a body cast and there's no way he's getting out of bed any time soon. He looks at both men and says "Well, I probably should've started with something different than circumcision...."
Religion jokes Fitness jokes Monday jokes Coffee Jokes Priest Jokes
Един човек го болял стомах и отишъл на лекар. Той му предписал свещички. На другия ден човека пак отишъл при доктора и казал: - От тия свещички още повече ме заболя корема. - Ти да не ги яде бе? - А ти да не искаш в гъзъ да си ги ръгам...
Medical and Doctor Jokes