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There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "РООF" a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then "РООF" you'll disappear." So the red head goes in first and stares deeply into the mirror and proclaims, "I think that i am the most beautiful woman in the world!", "РООF" a hundred dollars pops out. Then the brunette goes in. "I think that i am the smartest woman in the world," "РООF" a hundred dollars pops out. Now it's the blonde's turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror. She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, "I think... "РООF " she disappears.
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A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
Blind Bunny Meets Blind Snake Το Tυφλό λαγουδάκι "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there." O coelhinho tropeça numa cobra e logo justifica: — Desculpe! É que eu não te vi porque sou cego! — Não tem problema! — ameniza a cobra. — Eu também não te vi. Também sou cega. Que tipo de animal é...
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Chuck Norris naît le 6 mai 1945 l'Empire nazi chute le 7 mai 1945 Coïncidence ? Je ne pense pas Chuck Norris wurde am 6 Mai 1945 geboren. Die Nazis kapitulierten am 7 Mai 1945. ZUFALL !!! Чак Норрис родился 6 мая 1945 года. Германия сдалась 7 мая 1945 года. Совпадение? Я так не думаю Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence. Chuck Norris est Né le 6 mai 1945. Hitler a capitulé le 7 mai 1945.
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This guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the веll and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing.
Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
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Две блондинки седят и си говорят: Што е подалеку Was ist weiter weg Το φεγγάρι ή η Καβάλα; Το φεγγάρι ή η Κίνα; Две блондинки си говорят: - Муцка, ти как мислиш, кое е по-близо - Лондон или Луната? Q. Which is closer, Florida or the moon? Duas amigas loiras conversam e uma pergunta para a outra: Deux blonds discutent. L'un d'elle dit : Unterhalten sich zwei Blondinen. "Sag mal, was ist eigentlich weiter weg: London oder der Mond?",- "Hallooooo? Hör ma! Kannst du London von hier aus sehen?" Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park. One says to the other,"Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?" The other blonde says,"Well, duh! Can you see California?" Frida, vad ligger längst bort? Frankrike eller månen? - Frankrike! - Men Frida! Hur kan du tro det? - Jag kan ju se till månen men inte till Frankrike... TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night. Det var två blondiner som satt på en kulle och filosoferade. Då sa den ena: - Vilket tror du är kortast? Till månen eller Malmö? - Dööö...?! Månen såklart! Ser du Malmö eller? Två blondiner sitter på ett berg i Örebro, när den ene plötsligt frågar: - Vilket är närmast, Borås eller månen? - Meen daaaaa! Ser du Borås härifrån eller? Två blondiner sitter på en bänk och filosoferar. Den ena frågar sin kompis: - Vilket ligger närmast oss, månen eller Borås? Kompisen svarar: - Mohahaha! Vadå, ser du Borås, eller?! Den ene blondine spørg den anden, blondine om hvad der ligger længst væk, London eller månen. Den anden blondine svarer, er du dum eller hvad, kan du måske se London her fra? Kumpi on kauempana, Ranska vai Kuu? Ranska. Miksi niin luulet? Koska voin nähdä Kuun, mutta en näe Ranskaa. - Hva er egentlig nærmest: månen eller Afrika? - Å din tullebukk! Det er selfølgelig månen. Afrika kan man jo ikke se herfra. To blondiner snakket sammen i Oslo. Den ene spurte den andre: – Hva er nærmest? Bergen eller månen? – Månen selfølgelig! Kan du se Bergen, kanskje? Deux mec bourré discutent en fumant leurs cigarettes devant un bar : - A ton avis, qu'est-ce qui est plus proche de nous, la lune ou l’Amérique ? - Ben la lune, mec ! - Tu es sure ? - Ben ouai,... Pepíček u tabule. „Pověz mi, co je dál - Měsíc nebo Čína?” „Čína.” „A proč?” „Měsíc vidím každý den, ale Čínu jsem ještě neviděl!” Le pregunta una rubia a otra: - ¿Qué queda más lejos, Brasil o la luna? - ¡Ay tontaaaa! ¿Acaso podés ver Brasil desde aquí? Det var två blondiner som satt på en bänk i Trollhättan och diskuterade, när den ena frågade: - Vart är det längst, till Månen eller Borås? Då svarade den andra: - Men hallååååååååå, ser du Borås... Estaban dos chavas fresas y una le dice a la otra: - Oye, ¿que esta mas cerca la luna o londres? Y le contesta: - Ay! no seas ****a apoco desde aqui ves londres! Eran 2 rubias y una le pregunta a la otra Oye q queda mas lejos londres o la luna Y la otra responde tu si q eres bruta acaso ves londres - Powiedz, czy dalej od nas są położone Chiny czy Księżyc? - pyta nauczyciel. - Panie psorze, myślę, że jednak Chiny. - A na jakiej podstawie tak twierdzisz? - Bo Księżyc już widziałem nieraz, a... Öğretmen emine'ye sorar: - Söyle bakalim yavrum,hindistan mi daha uzaktir yoksa ay mi? - Hindistan daha uzaktir hocam. - Nasil olur kizim? - Öğretmenim,bazi geceler ay'i görebiliyoruz,ama... 2 blondiner sidder og snakker... 2 blondiner sidder og snakker og pludseligt siger den ene: - Hvor er der længest til - månen eller London? Så svarer den anden med et grin: - Doorh, kan du måske se... Blondinen Der var en blondine og mand. Blodinen spørger manden hvad der ligger tættets på, London eller månen? Manden siger London og blondinen siger: - Hallo kan du se London herfra? Двете плавуши сериозно разговараат: Па, мила, што мислиш што е поблиски Месечината или Лондон? Еј што си глупа, па можеш ли да го видиш Лондон од тука? Μια ξανθιά αναρωτιέται τι είναι πιο κοντά, το Λονδίνο ή το φεγγάρι και ρωτά μια φίλη της. Αυτή της απαντά: - Helooooo!Το Λονδίνο το βλέπεις από εδώ? In Erdkunde prüft die Lehrerin ihre Schulklasse auf Herz und Nieren: "Was ist näher: Der Mond oder China?" Christoph in der ersten Bank meint: "Ich glaub, der Mond ist näher. Denn den sehe...
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