Newest jokes

What do Amsterdam and Tour de France have in common?
Loads of people on drugs riding bikes.

0

0

London Museum of Natural History just opened an exhibit on the Rolling Stones.

0

0

The better the breaks, the deeper the dents on the back bumper.

0

0

"Hello? Am I speaking to the Lost and Found?"
"No, this is the oncology department. So more of a Found and Lost."

0

0

It only takes 20 years for a liberal to turn into a conservative, without having to change a single idea.

0

0

It may seem like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to disappear.

0

0

You can go anywhere you like; you must only look serious and carry a clipboard.

0

0

Bulimia, plastic surgery, anorexia – all those are deeply personal, taboo subjects. But talk about botox? Nobody raises an eyebrow.

0

0

April 1st. The only day in the year when media articles are viewed with some suspicion.

0

0

Comrade President, our people are dying of hunger!”
“Release a statement we are radically reducing the number of people below poverty line!”

0

0

I have a great fear of choking, but the worst possible time to choke is probably when you’re playing charades.

0

0

Scientists have proven that men are brighter than women. They found out that
Where a man thinks, a women has a hole.

0

0

Three little pigs are sitting huddled in their little house, shivering with fear.
After much huffing and puffing, the door finally gives in and smashes and in walks the wolf.
“Shalom,” he greets the three little pigs.
“Oooof…,” sigh the three little pigs in relief.

0

0

Grandpa, what is a pension?”
“A sad reminder of a wage.”

0

0

Artificial intelligence is very impressive but it’s got nothing on natural idiocy.

0

0

What’s the difference between a psychopath and a psychiatrist?
The psychiatrist has the keys.

0

0

A cannibal who recently moved into civilization sees his friend walking down the street, carrying an urn.
“Wow, you even have instant meals here?!”

0

0

There are many things in life that give me great joy. For instance cooking my children and ignoring commas.

0

0