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Latest Jokes

Q: Why did the lamp go on a diet?
A: Because it wanted to get light

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Light bulb jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

Girl: You spend way too much time on your x-box and never anytime with me :(
Boy: But i'm trying to achieve a new level
Girl: Hey gues what?!
Boy: What?
Girl: Level Achieved - SINGLE

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Marriage and Family Jokes Single People Jokes

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

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Bible Jokes Christian Jokes

The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a сriме any day of the week!"

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Golf jokes Sports Jokes

I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my diск.

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Dating Jokes Dirty jokes

What do you call a niggеr with a regular job, who doesn’t drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn’t collect welfare, and doesn’t rаре White women?
An inmate.

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Black People Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Prison Jokes

"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."

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American Football Jokes Sports Jokes Soccer Jokes

Q: How many hipsters does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
A: One to sсrеw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.

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Hipster Jokes Light bulb jokes

Q: What did Нiтlеr get for his birthday?
A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.

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Dark Humor Jokes Hitler Jokes

A farmer was out plowing one day, when his son ran up to the tractor excitedly.
“Daddy, there’s some preacher come to visit, and Momma wants you to come in and meet him”
The farmer said “Son, I have to finish here, but I need your help. Go back inside and tell mom that I’ll be there in a little while; find out which preacher it is; and do this:
If it’s the Catholic priest, hide the bottle of wine, he’ll drink it all if you don’t.
If it’s the Lutheran minister, hide the cookie jar with Momma’s butter and egg money in it, he’ll talk her out of all of it.
And if it’s the Baptist preacher, you sit on Momma’s lap until I get there.

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Money jokes Religion jokes Wine jokes Priest Jokes

A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."

The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."

So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!

The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"

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Farmer Jokes Superhero Jokes

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your аss.

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Russian Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.

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April Fools' Jokes Computer Jokes

A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.
The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."
The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."

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Lawyer Jokes Money jokes One-Liner Jokes Banker Jokes

My New Years resolution is simple…. Remember to write 2015 instead of 2014.

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New year jokes

Me: Knock! Knock!
Friend: Who's There?
Me: Daisy! Friend: Daisy Who?
Me: Daisy Me Rollin, They Hatin!!
?•??•???

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Friendship Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Knock-knock jokes

Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. Both scared, they pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill and says, "Hey, here's that twenty dollars I owe you."

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Money jokes Men jokes Criminal Jokes

Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".

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Asian jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.

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Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Cheating Jokes

J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Christmas Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Holiday Jokes