IT jokes

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The Engineer and the Frog Verzauberter Frosch новый русский идёт мимо болота, видит - лягушка. говорит она ему по... Вървял си един програмист и гледа - жаба! Взел я той, а тя му проговорила: Als ein Ingenieur eines Tages die Straße überquerte, wurde er von einem Frosch angesprochen: "Wenn du mich küsst, werde ich eine wunderschöne Prinzessin!" Er beugte sich runter, hob den Frosch auf und steckte ihn in die Tasche. Der Frosch sprach erneut zu ihm: "Wenn du mich küsst und mich zur... A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll... An old man who loves to fish, was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.... Un ingegnere sta attraversando la strada, quando una rana lo chiama e gli dice: "Se tu mi baci, io mi trasformerò in una magnifica principessa". Lui si abbassa, raccoglie la rana e la mette in tasca. Allora la rana gli dice: "Se tu mi baci, io mi trasformerò in una magnifica principessa e resterò... Un ingénieur traversait la rue lorsqu'une grenouille l'arrêta et lui dit : - Si tu m'embrasses, je me transformerai en une magnifique princesse. Il se baissa, ramassa la grenouille et la mit dans... Un programmeur découvre une petite grenouille sur son chemin. La grenouille lui parle et dit :"Je suis une véritable belle et jolie princesse, et si tu m'embrasses, je resterai avec toi pendant une... En dag mötte en grön liten groda en man när hon hoppade över vägen. Grodan kväkte åt mannen: - Om du kysser mig blir jag en vacker prinsessa. Mannen plockade upp grodan och satte den i fickan.... Ein Informatiker findet im Wald einen sprechenden Frosch und steckt ihn in die Tasche. Nach einer Weile sagt der Frosch: „Hallo, ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin. Wenn du mich küsst, erfülle ich... Mies oli eräänä päivänä ylittämässä katua, kun sammakko kutsui häntä ja sanoi: - Jos suutelet minua, muutun kauniiksi prinsessaksi. Mies kumartui, poimi sammakon ja laittoi sen taskuunsa. Sammakko... Insinööri kävelee töihin. Matkalla hän löytää puhuvan sammakon joka sanoo: - Suutele minua! Minä muutun ihanaksi prinsessaksi ja saat tehdä minulle mitä vain haluat! Insinööri nostaa sammakon... Um Geek (fanático por computadores) estava atravessando a rua quando vê um sapo que abre a boca e começa a falar: — "Se você me beijar, " o sapo fala "eu me transformarei em uma linda princesa,... Un programator mergea pe stradă cînd o broască îl strigă şi îi spune: - Dacă mă săruţi, am să mă transform într-o prinţesă foarte draguţă. Programatorul luă broscuţa, o puse în buzunarul lui şi... Mannen var ute och gick då han såg en groda som sa: - Kyss mig så blir jag en prinsessa! Mannen lade grodan i fickan. Då sa grodan: - Jag är en prinsessa. Kyss mig så stannar jag i en vecka hos... Ein Informatiker geht durch den Park. Dabei spricht ihn ein Frosch an: "Ich bin eine verwunschene Prinzessin. Wenn Du mich küsst und heiratest verwandle ich mich zurück und bin für immer Dein!"....
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He веnт over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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Шерлок Холмс и доктор Уотсън летели с балон. Човек, летящ на въздушен балон, установил, че се е загубил. Orientierung in einem Heissluftballon Mit dem Ballon verirrt Marketing Ο Διευθυντής Ο κομπιουτεράς και ο μάνατζερ Воздушный шар сбился с курса, и воздухоплаватель срочно опустился с ним вниз. Un hombre está volando en un globo aerostático y se da cuenta de que se encuentra perdido. Mientras hace algunas maniobras ve a un tipo caminando por el campo. El hombre hace descender el globo algunos metros y grita: - Perdone, ¿me puede decir dónde estoy?. A lo que el hombre que está abajo... George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I... Zwei Ballonfahrer haben sich im Nebel mit ihrem Ballon verirrt. Plötzlich taucht im Nebel ein 2. Ballon auf mit einer Person an Bord. Da ruft einer der beiden Verirrten: " Hallo, können Sie uns sagen, wo wir uns befinden?" Der andere Ballonfahrer gibt keine Antwort. Kurz bevor die Ballone ausser... A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212... Un tipo va en coche por la carretera y se da cuenta de que está perdido. Se detiene en un arcén y pregunta a un viandante que pasaba por allí: - Oiga, ¿puede ayudarme? He quedado a las seis con unos clientes, llevo dos horas de retraso y no sé dónde estoy. - Por supuesto,le contesta el... , Il y a deux types dans une montgolfière. Le premier demande au second : "Excusez-moi, pouvez-vous me dire où nous sommes ?" Le second réfléchit longtemps, très longtemps avant de dire : "Eh... Un ingénieur et un physicien profitent du beau temps et décide de faire une promenade en ballon. Le temps se couvre rapidement, l'ingénieur et le physicien finissent par se perdre complètement dans... Uma vez um homem viajava em um balão de ar quente quando descobriu que estava totalmente perdido. Visto que sua situação era desesperadora, resolveu diminuir velocidade, e a sua altitude para ver... Un tipo volaba en globo, de pronto se percató que estaba perdido, maniobró y descendió un poco. Divisó a un hombre abajo en la calle, bajó más y le grito: ¡Disculpe! ¿Podría usted ayudarme?... En man i en varmluftsballong insåg att han kommit vilse. Han minskade höjden och såg en kvinna nere på marken. Han sänkte sig ytterligare ner och ropade: - Ursäkta, kan du hjälpa mig? Jag hade... Un uomo su un pallone aerostatico finisce su un albero in mezzo alle campagne in una zona desolata. Passa di li' una persona, allora l'uomo sul pallone gli chiede: - Scusi, mi sa dire dove ci... A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would... Um homem voando num balão percebe que estava perdido. Ao ver alguém lá embaixo, resolve descer um pouco para perguntar. Quando está suficientemente baixo, grita: — Hei! Você ai! Pode me dizer onde... Adamın biri balona binmiş ve uçarken yolunu kaybedip bilmediği bir yerde bir çayıra doğru sürüklenmiş. Balonun aşağıda çok yaklaştığı bir sırada aşağıda birini görmüş ve sormuş: - Kayboldum, nerede... Ο φίλοι κάνουν ένα ταξίδι με αερόστατο. Κάποια στιγμή αρχίζει να βρέχει. Σε πολύ λίγο η βροχή γίνεται καταιγίδα και το αερόστατο κομμάτια. Πυξίδες και χάρτες χάνονται. Οι δύο φίλοι κρατιούνται από...
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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Навистина - Знам много неща! - каза Wikipedia. Facebook: "Ich kenne jeden!" Wikipedia: "Ich weiß alles!" Google: "Ich finde alles!" Internet: "Ohne mich geht gar nichts!" Strom: "ACH WIRKLICH?" Wikipedia: - ¡Sé todo! Google: - ¡Puedo encontrar todo! Facebook: - ¡Conozco a tod@s! Internet: - ¡Sin mí no sois nada! Electricidad: - ¡Callaos, idiotas! 1. Wikipedia: Én mindent tudok! 2. Google: Nekem mindenem megvan! 3. Facebook: Én mindenkit ismerek! 4. Internet: Nélkülem ti nem értek semmit! Áramszolgáltató: Csakugyan? Wikipedia : Én mindent tudok! Google : Nálam mindent megtaláltok! Internet : Nélkülem nem értek semmit! Áram : Tényleg? Hádají se: Wikipedia: "Já vím všechno!" Google: "Já najdu všechno!" Facebook: "Já znám všechny!" Internet: ",,Beze mě jste všichni namydlení!" Elektřina: "A tak se uklidníme, jo?!" Wikipédia : Je sais tout ! Google : J'ai tout ! Facebook : Je connais tout le monde ! Internet : Pfff vous êtes rien sans moi ! Éléctricité : Hahaha j'vous ai tous ! Facebook: heč já znam všechny na světě! Google: a co, já znam všechno na světě!! Internet: hele vážení, beze mě byste byli v pr***! Elektřina: takže se uklidníme...
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