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IT jokes

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I follow CIA on Twitter just so they can see how it feels.
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Military Jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Funny Riddles IT jokes Light bulb jokes
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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Technology Jokes Kids Jokes Computer Jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes Geek jokes Dating Jokes
Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
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Jokes about Women Money jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
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Обектно ориентиран начин за забогатяване - чрез наследяване What is the object oriented way of getting rich?
Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes Nerd jokes
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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Technology Jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes Stupid Jokes Weather jokes
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
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Money jokes Animal Jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
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Money jokes IT jokes
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"
My simple answer is:
It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
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- Абе Гоше, как мислиш, т'ва Google жена или мъж е? Google е женско 100%! Има одговор за се. Q: Is google a boy or girl? Q. What do women and Google have in common? A. They both can’t ever let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion. Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. Google es como una mujer, no te deja terminar una frase cuando empieza a sacar conclusiones y a hacer sugerencias... Дорогой Гугл, пожалуйста, перестань вести себя как моя жена: позволь мне заканчивать фразы самому, вместо того чтобы подсказывать их окончание. Google ist definitiv weiblich. Sie lässt dich nicht ausreden, ohne bereits etwas anderes vorzuschlagen. Google et les femmes, c'est pareil. Les deux donnent une suggestion avant que t'ais fini ta phrase... - Τo google είναι θηλυκό ή αρσενικό? - Θηλυκό, επειδή κάνει συστάσεις πριν τελειώσεις την πρόταση σου Er Google en mand eller en kvinde? – En kvinde, fordi du ikke får lov til, at sige noget færdigt før du får et forslag Google Er Google en hun eller en han? Det er en hun, for den lader dig heller ikke færdiggøre din sætning, før den kommer med et forslag. Hvordan man med sikkerhet kan si at Google er ei kvinne? - Du får aldri sjansen til å fullføre en setning uten at hun kommer med et forslag.
Jokes about Women Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes IT jokes Internet Jokes
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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School Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes Geek jokes
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes Light bulb jokes
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