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IT jokes

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I follow CIA on Twitter just so they can see how it feels.
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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Funny Riddles Light bulb jokes
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
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What is the object oriented way of getting rich? Обектно ориентиран начин за забогатяване - чрез наследяване
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Nerd jokes
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.
How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Internet Jokes Stupid Jokes Weather jokes
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.
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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.
Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
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IT jokes Money jokes
Q: Is google a boy or girl? - Абе Гоше, как мислиш, т'ва Google жена или мъж е? Дорогой Гугл, пожалуйста, перестань вести себя как моя жена: позволь мне заканчивать фразы самому, вместо того чтобы подсказывать их окончание. Google et les femmes, c'est pareil. Les deux donnent une suggestion avant que t'ais fini ta phrase... Google es como una mujer, no te deja terminar una frase cuando empieza a sacar conclusiones y a hacer sugerencias... Google ist definitiv weiblich. Sie lässt dich nicht ausreden, ohne bereits etwas anderes vorzuschlagen. Q. What do women and Google have in common? A. They both can’t ever let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion. Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion. Er Google en mand eller en kvinde? – En kvinde, fordi du ikke får lov til, at sige noget færdigt før du får et forslag Google Er Google en hun eller en han? Det er en hun, for den lader dig heller ikke færdiggøre din sætning, før den kommer med et forslag. Hvordan man med sikkerhet kan si at Google er ei kvinne? - Du får aldri sjansen til å fullføre en setning uten at hun kommer med et forslag. Google е женско 100%! Има одговор за се. - Τo google είναι θηλυκό ή αρσενικό? - Θηλυκό, επειδή κάνει συστάσεις πριν τελειώσεις την πρόταση σου
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"
My simple answer is:
It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
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The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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