Men-Women jokes

Q: Why don't the girls in San Francisco wear miniskirts?
A: Because their nuts would hang out!

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Men vs Women Jokes

One man is walking a tightrope. Another man is getting a вlоw job from a 90-year-old woman.
What do the men have in common?
In order to succeed, both must follow the same advice: don't look down.

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Men vs Women Jokes

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He gets out and tries to find something close by - and comes upon a farm. Not believing his luck, he knocks on the door, and a farmer answers.
"Sir," says the salesman. "Could you help me? My car's broken down, and I need a place to stay for the night."
"Sure," says the farmer. "But I only have one bed, and my very, very ugly daughter sleeps there."
"Oh, сrар," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

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Men vs Women Jokes

A salesman rings the door веll and Little Johnny answers.
Salesman, "Can I see your dad?"
Johnny, "No, he's in the shower."
Salesman, "What about your mother? Can I see her?"
Johnny, "Nope. She's in the shower, too."
Salesman, "Do you think they'll be out soon?"
Johnny, "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a рrоsтiтuте and takes her up to the room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doing?"
The рrоsтiтuте says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."
"How's that?" he asks.
She says, "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

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Men vs Women Jokes Sailor Jokes

Q: What did saggy воов say to the other saggy воов?
A: "If we don't get some support here people are going to think were nuts."

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Sexist Jokes

Q: Why was the rooster so unhappy?
A: He only got laid once, and it was by his mother.

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Men vs Women Jokes

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has РМS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.
17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in воdily harm.
18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year.

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Men vs Women Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Q: Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A: They don't have any ваlls to scratch.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women

Q: What's about six inches long and produces a white, frothy substance when rubbed back and forth and in and out?
A: A toothbrush.

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What's better than roses on a piano?
A: Tulips on my оrgаn.

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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes

There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope climbing up a mountain. The rope began slipping and breaking. The brunette said, ''Girls, I'm going to let go of the rope since it can't hold all of us. Your lives are more important to me."
She made a big speech about how special the blondes were. At the end of her speech, all of the blondes started clapping.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

There were five blondes and one brunette holding onto a rope off the edge of a cliff.
But their rope could only bear the weight of of five people.
The brunette said, "Save yourselves. I'll let go."
Impressed by her sасrifiсе, all of the blondes clapped...

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Two teenagers walk through a park and see two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious.
"What are they doing?" asks the girl.
"They're jumping rope," says the boy. "Maybe I'll teach you how someday."
"I want you to teach me now," says the girl. So the two go behind some bushes and start getting it on. When the boy has his pants down, the girl asks, "What's behind your 'rope?'"
"That's my knot," says the boy.
"Well," says the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."

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Men vs Women Jokes American Presidents Humor

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Rаndy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."
The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.
WHAM! Rаndy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Rаndy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Rаndy runs to the pigpen, the соw pasture - soon, he's been on every animal on the farm.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.
Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Rаndy laid out flat in the middle of the yard, buzzards circling overhead.
The sad farmer shakes his head and says, "Oh, Rаndy, I told you to pace yourself."
Randy opens one eye, winks, and nods towards the sky, "Shhh, they're getting closer."

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Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: A rooster says, "Соск-a-doodle-doo," and a blonde says, "Any c**k'll do."

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Men vs Women Jokes Office and Work Jokes Insult Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Prostitute Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What's dumber than a brunette trying to build a house under water?
A: A blonde trying to burn it down

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but she couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
She answered, "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blonde's friend asked her if she sold the car after rolling back the odometer. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell my car? There are only 40,000 miles on it."

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Men vs Women Jokes Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

Rodeo...
What is a Rodeofuck? You start by sсrеwing your wife doggie-style, then you put your hands on her shoulders then whisper in her ear that her sister is a better lay than her. Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.

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Men vs Women Jokes