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Моряк се връща бесен при циганка - пр*ститутка:
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A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.
"How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher. 
"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said the little boy. 
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?" 
The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal." 
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it.
He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower.
The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start." 
The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started." 
The preacher said, I'm a minister, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss." 
The little boy looked at him happily and said, "You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya!"
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A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his side.
"I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend," he said.
Our jeweler looked through our stock and took out an outstanding ring priced at $5,000. "I don't think you understand-I want something very unique," the man said.
At that, our now very excited jeweler went and fetched our special stock from the safe. "Here's one stunning ring at $40,000." The girl’s eyes sparkled, and the man said that he would take it. "How are you paying?" asked our jeweler.
"I'll pay by check; but of course the bank will want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow, and then I'll fetch the ring on Monday."
Monday morning, our very disappointed jeweler phoned the man. "You lied, there's no money in that account." "I know, sorry, but can you imagine what a FANTASTIC weekend I had?"
Ο Λαλαούνης нью-йорк. в самый крутой магазин по продаже изделий из меха заходит... Петък вечер старец и доста млада Мужик с потрясной телкой заходят в один из самых дорогих меховых магазинов на Беверли Хиллс. Un hombre entra, acompañado de una preciosa chica, en una tienda super exclusiva. El hombre (dirijiéndose al vendedor) dice: - Por favor, muéstrele a la señorita el más fino abrigo de visón de la tienda. El vendedor regresa con un maravilloso abrigo e imediatamente la joven se lo prueba. ¡Le... Un homme arrive chez Cartier, Place Vendôme à Paris, en compagnie d'une jeune femme splendide, et ensemble, ils choisissent un bijou de 50 000 euros pour elle. Au moment de payer, l'homme sort son... A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out... An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Fridayevening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for hisgirlfriend. The jeweler... Um sujeito entra numa loja de peles com uma loira espetacular. Ele diz ao vendedor: — Quero que você dê a esta moça a mais linda estola de pele que você tiver nesta loja. O vendedor mostra algumas... Contributed by Aaron Ray A balding, white haired gentleman from St. Augustine Beach, walked into a jewelry store in a local mall this past last Friday evening with a beautiful ... much younger gal... Een heer komt binnen bij Cartier, Place Vendome in Parijs. Hij is vergezeld van een beeldmooie vrouw en samen kiezen ze een juweel van 50.000 € voor haar. Op het moment dat er moet betaald... Freitag Abend, 18 h, betritt ein 80 jähriger den Edeljuwelier in Frankfurt… In Begleitung eine 30 jährige blonde Schönheit mit geilem Rahmen… Der Juwelier fragt freundlich nach wie er denn helfen... Een wat oudere man, 65+, loopt een juwelierszaak binnen met aan zijn arm een beauty van een jonge dame. Hij zegt tegen de juwelier dat hij iets speciaals zoekt voor zijn vriendin. De juwelier kijkt... Egy férfi bemegy a barátnőjével egy elegáns boltba. A hölgy kiválaszt egy bundát, felpróbálja. A férfi megkérdezi az eladót: - Mennyibe kerül ez a bunda? - 25000 dollár. - Jó, akkor kiállítok egy...
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Върви си Добрият рицар из гората и гледа - за едно дърво вързана гола дама. Przez góry idzie baca i widzi gołą, zapłakaną, przywiązaną do drzewa dziewczyne i pyta: - Co się pani stało? - Zgwałcili mnie! - A nie wołała pani pomocy? - Wołałam! - I nikt nie przyszedł? - Nie! - To jo też se skorzystom... Megy az erdész az erdőben és kiabálást hall... - Segítség, kérem segítsen valaki! Odasiet, hát látja, hogy egy pasi meztelenül van a fához kötözve. - Segítsen erdész úr! Két buzi erre járt,...
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A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The accountant does not answer.
The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."
The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my dамn money is!"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.
The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about."
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, соскs the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my dамn money is!"
The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!"
The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"
The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?"
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hеll... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
Μετάφραση A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. C'est l'histoire d'un parrain de la mafia, en compagnie de son comptable et de son avocat. Le parrain demande au comptable : - Où sont les 3 millions de dollars que tu as blanchis ?Le comptable ne répond pas. Le parrain monte le ton : - Où sont les 3 millions ??!!L'avocat dit au parrain : - Ne... De peetvader van een maffiaclan kwam er achter dat zijn dove boekhouder 10 miljoen euro verduisterd had. Tevoren dacht hij dat een dove boekhouder een voordeel was, vermits die niet kon... De peetvader van de maffia ontdekt dat zijn boekhouder hem heeft opgelicht voor 10 miljoen Euro. De boekhouder is doof, en dat was een van de voornaamste redenen waarom hij de job kreeg, hierdoor... Кръстникът на мафията открива, че неговият глухоням счетоводител, Гуидо го е измамил с 10 000 000 долара. Понеже е глухоням, кръсникът предполагаше, че никога няма да чуе нищо и по тази причина...
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A guy and his wife went to an expensive golf course.
He said to his wife, "Be careful of the expensive houses around us. I don't know if we can afford to break a window."
His wife tees off and breaks the biggest window of the most expensive looking house.
He said, "Oh no! We had better go ask how much it's gonna be."
So he and his wife go up to the house and see the door open.
They went inside and saw the golf ball lying next to a broken glass bottle.
A man walks up and says, "Thank you!"
The husband said, "I'm sorry about the..."
And the man interrupts, "Oh don't worry about the window. I have to thank you for getting me out of the bottle. You see, I'm a genie. So you get one wish and your wife gets one, but, in return, you have to give me one."
The husband asks for $100 million.
The genie says, "Done."
The wife asks for 80 exotic sports cars.
Genie says, "Done."
"Now, my wish is to have sеx with your wife because, you know, I've been trapped in that bottle for so long."
They agreed since their extravagant wishes had been granted.
And so the genie has sеx with the man's wife, not just once but many times.
When they're done, the genie asks the wife, "How old is your husband?"
She answers, "33."
And, the man said, "And he still believes in genies?"
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