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Old People Jokes

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A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.

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Animal Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
But in spite of it all I am able to grin
When I recall where my get up has been.

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Old People Jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Неll no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes

Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes Science jokes Math Jokes

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife
...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand !
Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !

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Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes Genie jokes

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

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Animal Jokes Old People Jokes

Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.

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Old People Jokes Bible Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.

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School Jokes Old People Jokes Christian Jokes

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes

How old is your son, the one living with you.
Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
How long has he lived with you?
Forty-five years.

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Old People Jokes

What is your date of birth?
December 30th.
What year?
Every year

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Old People Jokes Birthday Jokes

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
"You're not owld enough."

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Animal Jokes Old People Jokes Baby Jokes Communication Jokes

Who is the saddest grandma in the world?
Grandma of a vegan.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him:
"Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says:
"Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says:
"You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have suскеd them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes Dentist Jokes Chocolate Jokes

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes

When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Old People Jokes

You are so old, you fаrт dust.

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Old People Jokes Fart Jokes

A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says,
"Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urinе sample and a sреrм sample."
The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife replies,
"He said he wants your underwear."

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Old People Jokes

My granddad always used to say;
"As one door closes, another one opens..."
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

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Old People Jokes Dad Jokes

A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man.
The married couple has asked the grandmother together:
"What would you like to tell us dear granny? "
The granny has said:
"I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes Couple jokes Grandparent Jokes