Programmer Jokes

Most popular in this category

What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1

0 0

Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

39 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.

32 0

Funny Poems Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

64 0

IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

32 0

Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Science jokes

How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider

32 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.

32 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’

32 0

Microsoft and Bill Gates Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Secretary Jokes

Only 3 things that are infinite
1.Human Stupidity
2.Universe
3.WinRar Trial

32 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Stupid Jokes

Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958

67 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Nerd jokes

I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.

33 0

Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Single People Jokes

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

21 0

IT jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

35 0

Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.

35 0

Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes

Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.

33 0

IT jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes

ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
BASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
C: Crud
C: Confusing
COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
COBOL: Сrар Operated By Obsessed lunatics
COBOL: Сrар Often Bothers Our Lethargy
COBOL: Сrар Ostracized By Our Loathing
COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
LISP: Lots of Insanely Sтuрid Parentheses
LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses
PASCAL:\Programmers Against Structured Code And Language

61 0

IT jokes Programmer Jokes

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

34 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.

34 0

IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Management Jokes

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

34 0

IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes

A programmer went to the doctor complaining about wrist pain. The doctor poked and prodded for a while and then issued of a prognosis:
"You have carpal tunnel syndrome, but it's in the early stages. You should be able to continue work, but you should give up half of your programming."
"Which half? Writing memos about it or attending meetings about it?"

20 0

Programmer Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes