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Programmer Jokes

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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Technology Jokes Programmer Jokes
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and вiтсh about the lack of obscure features!
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IT jokes Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Light bulb jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
What do you call a веnт iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
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New year jokes Technology Jokes Programmer Jokes
Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Phone jokes
Programming is like sеx.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Sex Jokes Life Jokes
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse?
They just seemed to click.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Четирима хирурзи си почивали и пиели кафе. Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order". The second surgeon said, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in... Tres cirujanos discuten en el bar del hospital sus experiencias sobre las operaciones. El primero dice: - A mí me gusta operar a los contables: los abres y lo tienen todo numerado. A lo que el segundo replica: - No, yo prefiero a los bibliotecarios, pues tienen todas sus partes ordenadas... Fem kiruger har kaffepause og taler lidt om, hvilke mennesker der er nemmest at operere. Den første kirug siger: "Jeg synes bedst om at operere revisorer. Alt inde i dem er nummeret" Anden kirug;... Kilku chirurgów spotkało się na przerwie obiadowej. Rozmawiają o tym, kogo najbardziej lubią operować. - Ja to bardzo lubię operować księgowych. Wszystko w środku jest ponumerowane. - Jeszcze... Hat sebész iszogat, és arról beszélgetnek, milyenek az ideális páciensek. Mondja az első: - Én a művészeket szeretem a legjobban. Amikor műtét közben felvágom őket, szinte érzem a belőlük áradó... Quattro chirurghi stanno discutendo del loro lavoro durante una pausa. Il primo dice: "Secondo me i bancari sono i più facili da operare, dentro di loro ogni cosa è numerata.” Il secondo replica:...
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their аssеs are interchangeable."
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Lawyer Jokes Coffee Jokes
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Knock-knock jokes
I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes Military Jokes
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
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Hipster Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes Phone jokes
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
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IT jokes Technology Jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
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IT jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes
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