School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Math teacher:
"If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?"
"3 new Girlfriends!"

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Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a bit self-conscious about my advancing years.
One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class.
"Even the teacher is younger than I am," I said.
"Yeah," he said optimistically, "but look at it from my point of view. I thought my days of fooling around with college girls were over!"

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School Jokes Life Jokes

One day a boy came home running while crying.
His mother asked what happened why are you crying?
The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’.
His mother said ‘That’s horrible.
what did you not do’.
The boy in tears said`my homework’

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands.
He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.
Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

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Religion jokes School Jokes

School is like a воnеr, long and hard. Unless you're Asian...

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Dirty jokes School Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school."
"How much special?"
"Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."

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Parent Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Police Officer Jokes Dad Jokes

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.
"All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"

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School Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes

Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria.
Student: Here it is Mam!
Teacher: Where? It Is Blank.
Student: you told that bacteria cannot be seen with nакеd eye!

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School Jokes Student jokes

Teacher (on phone):
"You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?"
Voice:
"This is my father."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dad Jokes

A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-аss jоск in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sеxuаl exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A private school was recently faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers... and then there are educators.

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School Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

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School Jokes

Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test.
Henry: I hope you didn't either.

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School Jokes Math Jokes

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager". The questions are not that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.
But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers.
Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Old People Jokes Management Jokes School Jokes Boss Jokes

A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school."
The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school!
The teachers and students hate me!
Give me one reason I should go!"
The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"

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School Jokes Student jokes

The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.

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Chuck Norris Jokes School Jokes

Little Mary came back home after school and said:
"Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!"
The mother asked indignantly but in surprise,
"And how did this happen?"
"It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sеx?"
Johnny stood up and said: "Sеx is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes

Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully again.
If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Let’s try this another way.
If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?”
Boy: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good.
Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?”
Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”

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School Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

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Facebook Jokes Attitude Jokes School Jokes