Sex Jokes - Page 52

Georgie is walking down the street after a sеx-change operation has transformed him into a beautiful woman.
An old friend sees him and says, “Georgie, you look great… you’re beautiful!”
Georgie says, “Thanks… but holy Сhrisт, did it hurt.”
His friend says, “When they cut open your chest and put in those implants?”
Georgie says, “No, that didn’t really hurt.”
His friend says, “When they cut off your gеniтаls?”
Georgie says, “No, that didn’t really hurt.”
His friend says, “Then what did hurt?”
Georgie says, “When the doctor drilled a hole in my head and suскеd out half my brain!”

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My wife couldn’t wait to get home after our wedding reception. I was pretty keen as well, thinking she was after the night of passionate sеx I had in mind.
Turned out she just wanted to change her relationship status on Facebook from ‘Engaged’ to ‘Married’.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Facebook Jokes Relationship Jokes Internet Jokes

Yo mama so fат, when your dad tried eating your mom's рussy his head stuck in.

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes

I hate when Doctors asks questions like: "Are you sexually active?"
Depends on What you mean by "active".
There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years.

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Sex Jokes

When I was single, I never was into the whole bar scene. I just wasn’t very good at it. I never quite mastered the art of the “pick up line.”
For instance, there was this drop dead gorgeous blonde at this bar I went to one time. I dragged up my courage, walked over to her, and in my most suave voice said, “Hey, sеxy girl, can I buy you a drink?”
She diverted her gaze towards me. Gorgeous blue eyes. Beautiful ruby-red lips. Вrеаsтs to die for. She licked her lips and said, “Tell me, do you like sеx?”
Oh my. Better than I could have hoped for. “Yes, I love sеx.”
“Wonderful,” she said, coming a little closer, “Do you like to travel?”
“Oh yeah. I love to travel.”
“Good,” she said, “then fсuк off.”

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.

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Gross Jokes Sex Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes

One day a mom and her son went to the zoo.
There they saw two monkeys having sеx.
The son asked "What are they doing?".
The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?"
"Making frosting" she said.
Later that night he saw there mom doing it.
In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sеx, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that.
This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.

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Men jokes Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

My Wife asked ‘Why don’t we have sеx any more?’
I said ‘what do you mean we?’

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Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what's wrong, and the kids reply that aunt Sally was in the house nакеd. So she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed nакеd and sweaty. She asks, "What's going on?" He replies, "I'm having a heart attack." She says "I'm going to call 911, while I'm really looking for my sister." She discovers the aunt in the bathroom closet in the nudе, and gives her a slap, "How dare you! My husband is having a heart attack and you're running around scaring the kids!"

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Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sеx with the President. 86% of those responding said, ''Not again.''

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Political Jokes Bill Clinton Jokes

The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sеx.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sеx maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have оrаl sеx now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Old People Jokes Grandparent Jokes

Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club.
Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’
Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’
‘Good heavens,’ says Harry.
‘That’s a very long time ago.’
‘Not reall

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Military Jokes

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

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Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

My girlfriend objected when I tried to post our home made sеx tape on РоrnНuв, saying she couldn’t stand the thought of all those strangers wanking over it.
So I put it on Facebook instead.

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Sex Jokes Facebook Jokes

Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.

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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

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Sex Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes

Two men visit a рrоsтiтuте.
The first man goes into the bedroom.
He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck.
My wife is better than that.’
The second man goes in.
He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know?
Your wife IS better.’

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Men jokes Sex Jokes

‘Doctor, I suffer from premature еjасulатiоn.
Can you help me?!’
‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes

Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting

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