Social Network Jokes

Most popular in this category
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing and of course that means that Twitter and the Internet have exploded with jokes about their divorce and just how tragic Tom Cruise really is.
“Katie Holmes is Divorcing Tom Cruise. Apprently he’d been in A Few Good Men.”
“Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally decided that pretending to be in love was ‘Mission: Impossible’.”
“I was arguing with Tom Cruise about scientology. He said, ‘Try to see it from my point of view’. So I knelt down.”
“BREAKING: Katie Holmes cites Tom’s building of a space ship made from aluminium foil in living room as reason for divorce.”
“Tom Cruise wants to raise his kid as a Scientologist, and Katie Holmes wants to raise her as a Catholic. Either way this kid is sсrеwеd.”
“Oh, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced? I bet Oprah’s couch is thrilled.”
Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Social Network Jokes Men jokes Internet Jokes
Why is Facebook like to be in prison?
You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by people you don’t really know!
“When Mark Zuckerberg got married - Facebook raised $15 billion on the stock market. Zuckerberg listed the 10 things he loves about her, while she listed the 15 billion things she loves about him.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Investors are be able to buy shares of Facebook stock. It’s great - now you can lose all your money in the same place you lost all your time.” - Jimmy Fallon
“Facebook has estimated net worth - $100 billion. That’s almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time in Facebook.” - Jay Leno
“The two main websites in the world are Wikipedia, where you can learn about things you care about, and Facebook, where you can learn about people you don’t care at all.” - Craig Ferguson
“Facebook now has 0,5 billion users. The previous record holder was… hеrоin.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Facebook has passed 500 million members. If Facebook was a country, it would be the third-largest country and the least productive.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Computer hackers managed to shut down Twitter and Facebook for several hours yesterday. American productivity has jumped by 150%.” - Conan O’Brien
Facebook Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Social Network Jokes One-Liner Jokes American Jokes
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fаn.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Social Network Jokes Technology Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Geek jokes