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Animal Jokes

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Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
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Money jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sеx for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sеx for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sеx for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sеx. But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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The Engineer and the Frog Verzauberter Frosch новый русский идёт мимо болота, видит - лягушка. говорит она ему по... Вървял си един програмист и гледа - жаба! Взел я той, а тя му проговорила: A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." Als ein Ingenieur eines Tages die Straße überquerte, wurde er von einem Frosch angesprochen: "Wenn du mich küsst, werde ich eine wunderschöne Prinzessin!" Er beugte sich runter, hob den Frosch auf und steckte ihn in die Tasche. Der Frosch sprach erneut zu ihm: "Wenn du mich küsst und mich zur... An old man who loves to fish, was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.... Un ingegnere sta attraversando la strada, quando una rana lo chiama e gli dice: "Se tu mi baci, io mi trasformerò in una magnifica principessa". Lui si abbassa, raccoglie la rana e la mette in tasca. Allora la rana gli dice: "Se tu mi baci, io mi trasformerò in una magnifica principessa e resterò... Un ingénieur traversait la rue lorsqu'une grenouille l'arrêta et lui dit : - Si tu m'embrasses, je me transformerai en une magnifique princesse. Il se baissa, ramassa la grenouille et la mit dans... Un programmeur découvre une petite grenouille sur son chemin. La grenouille lui parle et dit :"Je suis une véritable belle et jolie princesse, et si tu m'embrasses, je resterai avec toi pendant une... En dag mötte en grön liten groda en man när hon hoppade över vägen. Grodan kväkte åt mannen: - Om du kysser mig blir jag en vacker prinsessa. Mannen plockade upp grodan och satte den i fickan.... Ein Informatiker findet im Wald einen sprechenden Frosch und steckt ihn in die Tasche. Nach einer Weile sagt der Frosch: „Hallo, ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin. Wenn du mich küsst, erfülle ich... Mies oli eräänä päivänä ylittämässä katua, kun sammakko kutsui häntä ja sanoi: - Jos suutelet minua, muutun kauniiksi prinsessaksi. Mies kumartui, poimi sammakon ja laittoi sen taskuunsa. Sammakko... Insinööri kävelee töihin. Matkalla hän löytää puhuvan sammakon joka sanoo: - Suutele minua! Minä muutun ihanaksi prinsessaksi ja saat tehdä minulle mitä vain haluat! Insinööri nostaa sammakon... Um Geek (fanático por computadores) estava atravessando a rua quando vê um sapo que abre a boca e começa a falar: — "Se você me beijar, " o sapo fala "eu me transformarei em uma linda princesa,... Un programator mergea pe stradă cînd o broască îl strigă şi îi spune: - Dacă mă săruţi, am să mă transform într-o prinţesă foarte draguţă. Programatorul luă broscuţa, o puse în buzunarul lui şi... Mannen var ute och gick då han såg en groda som sa: - Kyss mig så blir jag en prinsessa! Mannen lade grodan i fickan. Då sa grodan: - Jag är en prinsessa. Kyss mig så stannar jag i en vecka hos... Ein Informatiker geht durch den Park. Dabei spricht ihn ein Frosch an: "Ich bin eine verwunschene Prinzessin. Wenn Du mich küsst und heiratest verwandle ich mich zurück und bin für immer Dein!"....
IT jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Sex Jokes
What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?
One wears a tie.
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Office and Work Jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Viagra jokes Lawyer Jokes Dating Jokes Sexist Jokes What's The Difference Jokes
3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in and asked for a fork.The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the вuм said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes Dog jokes
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
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Gross Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, ''Excuse me , I was talking to the goose.''
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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes
What did the lеsвiаn frog say to the other lеsвiаn frog?
"What d'ya know, we do taste like chicken."
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Men vs Women Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Lesbian jokes
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "We need the eggs."
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Kids Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
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Animal Jokes
Fred came home from his first day at school.
"Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
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School Jokes Animal Jokes
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Baby Jokes
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
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Animal Jokes Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Love Jokes
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
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Animal Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Friendship Jokes Birthday Jokes
Why do police dogs liск their ваlls?
To get the taste of Niggеr out their mouths.
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Black People Jokes Animal Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Police Officer Jokes Dog jokes
When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Africa Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
The tiger lily.
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Animal Jokes
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
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Fishing Jokes Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes
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