Communication Jokes

I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café. They had cherry, apple, berry, peach, and Herman's.
"What type of pie is Herman's?" I asked the waiter.
"Apple," he said.
"Then why is it called Herman's pie?"
"Because Herman called in to reserve it."

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A girl married with a man who had only one foot.
Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little, tell me how did U feel the marriage?"
Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!"
Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Wedding jokes Communication Jokes

I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me:
"Are you alone?"
So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone."
"So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl.
I fainted...

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes Coffee Jokes

I and my two mates went to a hоокеr and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch.
My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner!
My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50!
I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.!
"What do you mean," they asked me.
"I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."

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Dirty jokes Money jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down.
He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck.
He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking.
A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do.
He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him.
The windows roll down and smoke pours out.
He sees a bunch of empty вееr bottles.
The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?"
He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them.
The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"

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Car and driving jokes Men jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Phone jokes Beer Jokes

Wife: "There's something preying on my mind."
Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Communication Jokes

Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.

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Car and driving jokes Police Officer Jokes Communication Jokes

A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over.
A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing.
The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over.
The brunette joins her.
Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car.
The blonde watches as the car drives away.
The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.

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Blonde Jokes Car and driving jokes Dark Humor Jokes Communication Jokes

I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!

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Mother-in-Law Jokes Communication Jokes

A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.

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Men jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

Instead of saying, "And here's your receipt," cashiers should say, "Will you throw this away for me?"

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Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

I bought a lottery ticket.
My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?"
I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sеx by the most beautiful actress and so on."
He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?"
I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some вооzе and вееr; fuск your mother."

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Sex Jokes Money jokes Vulgar jokes Dad Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Beer Jokes

"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me."
"Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?"
"Scissors," I replied.

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Relationship Jokes Wine jokes Communication Jokes

Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Communication Jokes

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sеxuаl Studies Convention in Chicago".
He swallowed hard.
Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sеxuаl studies!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality.
"Really," he gulped,"like what?"
"Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Um, Тоnто Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."

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Friendship Jokes Jokes about Women Redneck jokes Sex Jokes Aviation Jokes Communication Jokes American Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me:
"Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it."
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.

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Fitness jokes Communication Jokes

Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?"
Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?"
"No, I'm still alive."

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Political Jokes Communication Jokes

A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde asked, "Are you going to set it on fire?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company.
One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.
The procedure required him to delete an old file.
On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.
I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash.
Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."
Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes