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Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

The man who created autocorrecthas died.
Restaurant in peace!

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Dark Humor Jokes Computer Jokes Men jokes Restaurant Jokes

Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: It depends how hard you throw them.

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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Lawyer Jokes Baby Jokes Dead baby jokes

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Blonde Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes Black People Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.
The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together."
The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother."
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."

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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Australia Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: How do you make a baby drink?
A: Stick it in the blender.

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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Baby Jokes

What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!

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Q: What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
A: Its аss.

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Gross Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes

Zombie Воотy Call... Slab:
I've got the biggest, hardest slab in the cemetery!

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Zombie Воотy Call... Rot:
Why don't we just go back to my place and rot?

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Nationality Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Q: What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.

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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Christmas Jokes Baby Jokes

Need a Push?
Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing.
A: She had no arms.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my аss.

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Insult Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

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Religion jokes God Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Boycott Jokes

A bear was taking a dump in the forest when a rabbit walked by. The bear said, "Hey rabbit, does poo stick to your fur?"
"No," replied the rabbit. The bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his вuтт with him.

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Dark Humor Jokes

The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.
As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.
The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of вееr on the wall... ."

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Dark Humor Jokes Beer Jokes

There was once a man named Odd. People made fun of him because of his name so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

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Dark Humor Jokes

A fisherman and his wife had twin sons named Towards and Away.
Once the boys were grown, the fisherman took them out to sea to learn the family fishing trade.
A week later, the mother saw her husband dock the boat all alone.
"Oh no! What has happened to my darling boys?" she cried.
"We were just one day out to sea, when Towards hooked a great fish. He fought long and hard, but he was pulled over the side and swallowed whole by the fish."
"Oh dear, what a huge, horrible fish that must of been!"
"Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away."

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Dark Humor Jokes

- I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
- I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
- It's funny - we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
- You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed

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Dark Humor Jokes

What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
Hey! Watch this...

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Dark Humor Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Redneck jokes Sick and Death Jokes