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Jokes about Women

Newest jokes in this category
Man, to woman, ‘Do you want sеx?’
Woman, ‘Your place or mine?’
Man, ‘Well, if you’re going to argue.
Forget it.’
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes
The Taco Веll Chihuahua, a Doberman and a bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female collie comes up to them and says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.
'' The Doberman says, ''I love liver and cheese.'' The collie replies, ''That's not good enough.'' The bulldog says, ''I hate liver and cheese.'' She says, ''That's not creative.'' Finally the Chihuahua says, ''Liver alone - cheese mine.''
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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.
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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes
Why do women fаrт after they take a рiss?
Because they can't shake it, so they вlоw dry it.
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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Fart Jokes
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Black People Jokes
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home.
When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.”
So the next day the man took her to a baseball game.
The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked.
The man said, “Are you understanding this game?”
The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it.
Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing.
And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.”
Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four ваlls.”
The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes Men jokes USA Jokes American Jokes
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
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Animal Jokes Jokes about Women Single People Jokes Internet Jokes
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
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Sick and Death Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Love Jokes
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?"
The clerk says to her, "Just a second."
The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
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Чукча влиза в бюро на Аэрофлот и пита: Blondes & Airplanes Μισό λεπτό Λάρνακα-Λονδίνο Αθήνα-Θεσσαλονίκη. Η πιο αναχώρηση πτήσης.. O português liga para a companhia aérea e pergunta: Блондинка се обажда в авиолиния. A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation. Carabiniere telefona all'ufficio informazioni dell'aeroporto: "Quanto tempo impiega il volo Bologna-Roma?". La centralinista: "Un attimo...". E il carabiniere: "Grazie" e riattacca. Carabiniere: "Pronto, scusi, quanto dura il volo da Roma a Milano?" Centralinista: "Un secondo..." Carabiniere: "Grazie!" - Pardon madame, quelle est la durée de vol entre Bruxelle et New York? La dame lui répond: - Un instant. Alors le belge réplique: - Je vous remercie pour le renseignement, aurevoir. Norrmannen ringer till SAS och frågar, - Hej,om jag tar 14:45 planet till Paris, hur lång tid tar resan? - Ett ögonblick, säger kvinnan på SAS. - Tack, säger norrmannen, och lägger på luren. Un atlante llama a una aerolínea y pregunta: Señorita, ¿podría decirme cuanto se demora el vuelo de Barcelona a Miami? La señorita le responde un momentito, el atlante le dice muchas gracias y... O português liga para o aeroporto: — Telefonista, por favoire, tu subes me dizeire quanto tempo leva a viagem de São Paulo a Lisboa? — Um minutinho, senhor... — Oh raios! Mas que rápido! Manuel llama a una oficina de aerolíneas. Señorita, ¿puede informarme cuánto tarda el vuelo Buenos Aires-Madrid? Sí, un minuto... Muchas gracias. One day, a blonde wanted to travel from America to Europe. She rang a Travel agent to ask how long it would take. Blonde: How long does take to travel to Europe from America? Travel agent: just a... - ¿Aló, aeropuerto?, le habla Maripily ¿Puede decirme cuánto dura el vuelo de San Juan a Miami? - Sí, un minuto... - ¡Ay!, muchas gracias... Bellman ringer till flygplatsen: - Hur lång tid tar det att flyga till Peru? - Ett ögonblick... - Tack! A szőke nő betelefonál a repülőtéri ügyfélszolgálatra: - Jó napot! Azt szeretném megkérdezni, hogy mikor indul Amerikába a Malév 2810-es gépe?? - Egy pillanat... - Köszönöm szépen. En blondine ringer til SAS. - Hvor lang tid tager det at flyve til Brasilien? - Lige 2 sekunder, svare damen fra SAS. - Tak, siger blondinen, og lægger på En svenske ringte til skranken i SAS og spurte: - Hvor lang tid tar det å fly herfra til London? - Et øyeblikk, svarte damen i skranken. – Mange takk, svarte svensken og la på. En svenske ringte flyselskapet og spurte hvor lenge flyturen mellom Stockholm og Paris varte. "Et øyeblikk bare", sa konsulenten. "Flott," sa svensken og la på.
Aviation Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
What do you get when you have sеx with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
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Baby Jokes Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Sex Jokes Pregnancy Jokes
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’
‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend.
‘No,’ replies the woman.
‘He wants to be cremated.’
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Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Friendship Jokes
How big is a Republican-size bed?
Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Men jokes Republican jokes
What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A belly button between her воовs.
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Въпрос: Zwischen den Brüsten Was haben 80-jährige Frauen zwischen ihren Brüsten, was 20-jährige nicht haben? - Ihren Bauchnabel! Qu'est-ce qu'une vieille de 70 ans a entre les seins? - Son nombril. Гатанка: Между женски гърди стари го има! Между женски гърди млади го няма! Що е то? Отговор: Пъп! Qu'est ce qu'une femme de 60 ans a de plus entre les seins qu'une femme de 20 ans ? Le nombril. Et qu'est ce qu'une femme de 90 balais à de plus entre les seins qu'une femme de 60 ans ? Une bonne... Какво има една 60 годишна жена между гърдите, което млада жена няма? - Пъп. Какво има една 80 годишна жена между гърдите, което една 60 годишна няма? - Косми Qu'est-ce qu'une femme de 70 ans a de plus qu'une femme de 20 ans entre les seins ? – Vet du vad äldre kvinnor har mellan brösten som inte yngre kvinnor har? – Naveln!! ¿Qué tienen las ancianas entre medio de los senos? El ombligo. - Co ma 20-latka pomiędzy piersiami? - Wisiorek. - A 40-latka? - Pępek. Cos’ha tra le tette una donna di 70 anni che invece una ragazza di 18 non ha? L’ombelico. I: Ce au babele si nu au fetele tinere? R: Buricul intre sani. Qui a y-il entre les seins d'une mamie de plus de 80 ans ? Reponses : Le nombril. Hvad har en gammel dame mellem brysterne som en ung ikke har? - Navlen! Vet du hva forskjellen på ei blondine på 20 år og ei blondine på 80 år? - Hos henne på 80 er navlen plassert mellom puppene.. Vad är det som en kvinna på 50 år har mellan brösten - men inte en kvinna på 20 år? Naveln... Vad har äldre kvinnor som inte yngre har? Naveln mellan bröstvårtorna! Τι έχει μια γυναίκα 75 ετών ανάμεσα στα στήθη της που δεν έχει μια γυναίκα ηλικία 25 ετών; Τον ομφαλό της. Wat is er tussen de borsten van een oude oma? *** *** *** *** Haar navel!!! Mellem brysterne Hvad er det en kvinde på 50 har imellem brysterne, som en kvinde på 20 ikke har? - En navle! Oque uma mulher de 40 tem entre os seios que uma de 20 não tem ? O umbigo Τι έχει μια γριά ανάμεσα στα βυζιά της που δεν το έχει μια νέα? - Τον αφαλό της...
Jokes about Women Old People Jokes Gross Jokes Boob Jokes
Doctor to woman patient:
"Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient:
"But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
What does a drunк walrus have in common with a woman at a tupperware party?
They're both out looking for a tight seal.
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Jokes about Women Drinking and Drunk Jokes
Woman patient:
"Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor:
"You did the right thing to call me."
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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.
Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins.
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
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Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
There was a man who just got out of the army.
He was really hоrny and only had $5, so he went to a whоrе house. He told the women, ''Gimme anything you got.'' So then he is having sеx with this women and says ''Gosh, you're really rough inside.'' She says ''Hold on.'' and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says ''Now you're really smooth. What happened?'' She says, ''I picked off all the scabs.''
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Military Jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Money jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
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