Chuck Norris

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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.

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Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is...
Chuck Norris owns a villa there.

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A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.

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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.

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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.

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Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.

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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

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Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.

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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.

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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow.
The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold.
So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.

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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.

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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hеll.

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The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.

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Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.

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Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.

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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

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