Jokes From our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Jokes-441655979354080)

Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.
"Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."
Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you."
The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"
To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here - how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"

28 0

The Mathematics of Love.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

0 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Cheating Jokes Pregnancy Jokes

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object.
"I do have three hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $100,000. The second is from a marathon runner, 25 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $150,000. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover. It's $500,000."
"Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!"
"Yes, but it's from a laywer. It's never been used."

83 1

Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

Corporate Воотy Call... MBA:
Yeah, I have an MBA - and that stands for Master of Воотy Action.

1 0

Office and Work Jokes

An old woman goes to the doctor's office. The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urinе tests."
The woman says, "Well, can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."

17 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Old People Jokes

Q: What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?
A: "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"

0 0

Office and Work Jokes

Corporate Воотy Call... Middle Manager:
Come meet my middle manager.

1 0

Office and Work Jokes Boss Jokes

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

44 0

Office and Work Jokes Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Military Jokes

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.
"How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Hiking?"
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Boss Jokes

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the-"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road-''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"

10 0

Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Lawyer Jokes Farmer Jokes

One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street. They had been friends in school but had lost touch over time. They used sign language to catch up on old times. Through the course of conversation one of the deaf-mutes learned the other had learned to speak and was no longer mute.
This amazed the fellow that was still mute and he asked about the procedure. His friend gave him the doctor's card and went on his way. The deaf mute wasted no time and went straight to the doctor's office. The doctor informed the procedure took 26 days and cost one million dollars. The man handed the doc his insurance card and begged the doctor to start the treatment that day.
The doctor had the man sтriр and lay over the examination table. The doctor went to his closet and took out a bucket of mayonnaise and a broom handle with a door кnов on the end. The doc got a running start and shoved the mayonaise covered door кnов up the deaf-mute's аss. The mute screamed,"AY!AY!AY!" The doctor said,"very good we will work on the B's tomorrow."

37 0

Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes Insurance Comedy

Corporate Воотy Call... Needle:
I need you to move my needle.

1 0

Office and Work Jokes

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the мurdеr scene."
"Dаммiт!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"
"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Blonde Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Lawyer Jokes Black People Jokes

Lawyers Off Bridge...
What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river? Pollution. What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge? Solution.

29 0

Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Corporate Воотy Call... Corner Office:
Let's discuss my raise in your corner office.

1 0

Office and Work Jokes

Corporate Воотy Call... Offsite:
There's an offsite you need to attend at my place.

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your вuтт."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down. He asks, "Where did you get this twitch?"
The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch; I'm chewing bubble gum."

71 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Corporate Воотy Call... Overtime:
I'd work overtime to reach synergy with you.

1 0

Office and Work Jokes

A man goes to his doctor's office to get his реnis enlarged.
The doctor comes in with a tray of penises, and the man says, ''You got any вiggеr ones?'' The doctor comes in with another tray, but the man still wants something вiggеr. The doctor comes in with yet another tray, and the man finally says, "I'll take one of those. But do you have any in white?"

0 0

Office and Work Jokes

Facebook Fan Favorites