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What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets.

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A white boy and a black boy were arguing one day.
The white boy screams "God is white!"
The black boy screams "God is black!"
This goes on and on for about an hour when all of a sudden there comes a loud сrаск of lightning and the heavens open up and a booming voice says "I am what I am."
The white boy jumps up and says "See, I told you so!"
To which the black boy says "How does that prove God's white?"
The white boy replies "Because if God were black he would have said, "I is what I is."

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Communication Jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club.
He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fuскеd every week !'

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Sports Jokes Soccer Jokes

A Marine was going in for his physical.
He had celebrated his 45th birthday that weekend.
After taking all the tests, the blood other fluids.
He was now waiting for the DR. in an office on the table in a paper outfit.
The DR came in.
After looking over all the notes, the Marine was asked if he had an active sеx life.
Straight-faced, the Marine answered. "Yes, Sir.'
Asked how often, the Marine thought, "I cannot honestly answer that question, Sir."
Turning to look at the Marine he was asked, "Why not?"
Smiling the Marine stated. "One of the samples that were needed, I asked for some assistance. A nice Lady came in to help me. Would that count?"
The DR. signed the paperwork.
Walked out of the office saying, "Get dressed. You're fine."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes Military Jokes Old People Jokes

On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends.
He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped."
A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape.
When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!

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Dark Humor Jokes Police Officer Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Friendship Jokes Birthday Jokes

Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.

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God Jokes Old People Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

I walked into the computer repair place with my broken Macintosh computer.
I looked at the stack of them on the rack and said, ‘What’s that, Broke Mac Mountain?’

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Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes IT jokes

There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck.
Some time went by, and the case got to court.
The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him."
Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?"
I said, "I never felt better in my life."

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Animal Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Has does a blonde have safe sеx?
She locks the car door.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says,
"Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror an d says,
"You duммy, it's me!"

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Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist,
“Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.”
“But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist.
“I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes

If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes

Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.

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Car and driving jokes Old People Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Are you an elevator?
Cause I wanna go down on you.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes

Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes

When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes

Q: Whats the Diffenence between кinкy and perverted?
A1: Кinкy is when you tickle your girl friends аss with a feather.
A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to рее.

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Gross Jokes April Fools' Jokes

Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.

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Fitness jokes

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