Most popular jokes

A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick.
"Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive.

"Big Deal," muttered the blonde. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."

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Most Friday nights at the naval station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officer's club after work. Z
One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m.
We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six. I offered to call home for Rick.
When his wife answered the phone, I said, 'Rick has been kidnapped.
Put five dollars in small, unmarked bills in a plain brown paper bag and throw it in the door of the officer's club.' Then I hung up.
A short time later, a waiter brought a grocery bag to our table.
In it were Rick's baseball glove, a tennis racket, and a teddy bear.
Attached to the bear was a note:
'Rick can play kidnapped until 7 p.m. Then he must come home.'

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Friday jokes

“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life...
Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

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One-Liner Jokes

And Моsеs looked upon the Lord and said:
"We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?"

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One-Liner Jokes

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says," ' Bout what?" Submitted by Curtis Edited by Calamjo

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One-Liner Jokes

A guy goes to see his grandmother and takes one of his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts that are on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they're leaving, the friend says, "Thanks for the peanuts".
The grandmother says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only liск the chocolate off of them".

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Chocolate Jokes Grandparent Jokes Coffee Jokes

Yo momma so fат she thought planet earth was her stomach.

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Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

Ten years without brushing causes horrible tooth decade.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dentist Jokes

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DАММIТ open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Knock-knock jokes Communication Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."

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Dirty jokes Management Jokes Customer service jokes Boss Jokes

There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"

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Political Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Aviation Jokes Stupid Jokes Pilot Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer?
A: They never get old.

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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Old People Jokes Black People Jokes

What is so good about Chuck Norris?
He is just some sтuрid actor, if he was really that good he would come here and bash my head on the keyboD5LISDALGFRGY I idyfgylbhyuu2213874rt fsdnljsdha.

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Technology Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.

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Technology Jokes Money jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viаgrа coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes Viagra jokes Insurance Comedy

The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said:
"yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Communication Jokes

Two firemen are вuтт fuскing in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shiт got started..."

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Boss Jokes

Want to make a роrnо?
We don't have to tape it.

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Sex Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

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Sex Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Flirt jokes

Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.

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Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes

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