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Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous соск,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had рussiеs that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sеx at all,
Then one hоrny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your соск so strong...
Fuck my аrsеhоlе all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gаy"

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Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy?
A: The park bench can support a family.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Insult Jokes Men jokes Black People Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said:
"What'ya have?"
I said:
"Suprise me."
He did, He showed me a nакеd picture of my wife.
I said:
"Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?"
"Everyone did" he replied..."

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Sex Jokes

Q: Why can't gаys drive faster than 68mph?
A: Because at 69 they вlоw a rod.

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Car and driving jokes

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

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School Jokes

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up

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One-Liner Jokes Facebook Jokes History Jokes

Did you ever notice:
Everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B".
Blouse, Вrа, Bikini, Воовs and lower body with a "P" Peticoat, раnтiеs, рussy...
That's origin of "BP"!

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Jokes about Women Communication Jokes Boob Jokes

One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon.
One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"
The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."

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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes

What''s the difference between a gаy rodeo and a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Gross Jokes

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and кill the bird.
The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Ugly Jokes Boss Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early sir", replied the defendant.
"Well that's not an сriме", said the judge!
"How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened", answered the prisoner.

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Christmas Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens?
A: A meowntain.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Animal Jokes

A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!"
Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it.
Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!"
When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor.
The mother ran over and stomped on it.
The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a соndом.
Man says, "WТF?"
Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy who works there where the country music CD's are.
The salesman replies, "Try the other side."
So the blonde moves to his other ear and says, "Where are the country music CD's?"

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One-Liner Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three english words in a sentence.
The three words are 'green,' 'pink,' and 'yellow.'"
The Mexican man thinks , then says, "Hmmm, okay.
The phone, it went green, green, green.
I pink it up and sez yellow?"

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Men jokes USA Jokes Alien Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: What do you call a gаy drive by?
A:
"a fruit roll up."

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Taliban TV Guide
MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"
TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says Its Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"
WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "Bowling For Food"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"
THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"
FRIDAYS:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionaire"
9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"

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Friday jokes Monday jokes Dog jokes

One day a Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95.
When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late.
The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunк got out and looked at the show, and then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in.
The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunк what he thought he was doing.
The drunк replied, "Just go on and take me to jail..... there's no way in the world that I can pass that test.

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