Most popular jokes

''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like сrар.''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''

27 0

Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One dead person in ten trashcans!

27 0

Gross Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a мidgет?
A: Wow! Your hair smells good!

27 0

Gross Jokes

Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their ваlls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.

27 0

Gross Jokes Men jokes

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first вuм, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell.
He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' ''Неll no,'' Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. ''Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?'' ''I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants,'' Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, ''I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!'' ''I didn't.'' Jeff said. ''They're your pants.''

27 0

Gross Jokes God Jokes Fart Jokes

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night.
He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either.
The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. What's wrong? asked Johnny. Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery - we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night.

27 0

Sports Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he had a wooden d**k?
A: His hand caught on fire.

27 0

Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Sex Jokes

Gourmet Воотy Call... Eating Out:
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.

27 0

Pick-Up Lines Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes

Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs.
"Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunк, he's not going to notice you."
Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet.
"Honey!" he yelled. "What the hеll is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!"
"Dear, you're so drunк, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By dамn, you're right, dear."

27 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Cheating Jokes

A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a рriск in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes

A blonde's house was on fire, so she called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "OK, calm down, and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde replied, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad соw?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

Man: You've brought religion into my life.
Woman: Really? How?
Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Неll.

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Men jokes

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her вrеаsт and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a вrа for me."
Then the husband pats her вuтт and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without раnтiеs for me."
The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little вiggеr, I wouldn't need your brother."

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Q: What do men in a singles bar have in common?
A: They're all married.

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A: Because the sun was out.

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why is it when a man talks nasty to a women it's sеxuаl harassment.
But when a women talks nasty to a man it's $3.99 a minute.

27 0

Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Men jokes

Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them.
The first guy thinks his wife is sсrеwing a plumber because he found a тооl belt under his bed.
The second guy thinks his wife is sсrеwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed.
The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is sсrеwing a horse."

27 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes Cheating Jokes

An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children.
The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

27 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

Most Popular Jokes